Protocol Update

Jody emailed me asking for more info about my current protocol.

Here’s a general overview, with a few random details – I could practically write a book about all of this.  I admit it’s not my most brief writing.

I hope it helps someone out there anyway.

Blessings,
Maya


Hello Maya,

I am totally bedridden and no doctors have been able to help me. I have read your postings extensively and I’m hopeful that you might email me the more recent Protocol that you followed to help you feel much better.

I really appreciate any response from you,

Jody

Hi Jody,

Thank you for your post on my blog (copied below).  I’m so sorry to hear you’re totally bedridden.
This is a long email.  I hope you have help or energy to get through it. heh.
I hope it helps.
There’s so much I could share with you.  My protocol is NOT simple, and has NOT been easy.  It has taken a lot.  And I still have a way to go.  Some weeks I was in total despair and discouragement.
This has taken me a ton of patience, tenacity, and tracking all my steps, and a ton of trial-and-error.
I also had to learn to add each step in tiny baby steps, and keep doing previous steps while adding new ones.
Here’s a SAMPLE list of all the things in my protocol (this is cyclical, I do a bit more of each, each cycle):
STATUS CHECK: 
  • Blood tests (many different ones) to get baseline information
  • DNA test confirmed I had MTHFR mutations effecting metabolism
PREPARATION: 
  • Begin to Heal vitamin, mineral and micro-nutrient Deficiencies
  • Learn how to properly maintain balanced electrolytes
  • Clear out detox pathways to prepare for detoxing
  • Begin to slowly add in co-factors necessary for later steps
CLEARING GARBAGE OUT: 
  • Begin simple stretching / easy beginner yoga to help circulation clean gunk out
  • Detox parasites – Cure systemic bacterial overgrowths / infections
  • Heal the gut biome with proper types and amounts of probiotics (many are not proper)
  • Replace household products, body producs and foods that have toxins, carcinogenic substances, endocrine disrupters,  … (sls, aluminum, “fragrance”, anything 3+ on EWG’s site) – use cleaner / healthier alternatives
  • Upgrade supplementation to help support deeper healing processes
  • Cure leaky gut
  • Detox heavy metals
  • Eliminate ALL sources of stress – “friends”, work schedule, horror movies, anything that stressed me out.
  • Eliminate “inflammatory” foods and learn how to reduce systemic inflammation
  • Eliminate American wheat from diet (glyphosate) and stop eating any GMO products (especially corn, soy)
RESTORE GREATER BALANCE
  • Sleep 8-10 hours a day starting at 10:30pm
  • Drink only pH-balanced distilled water
  • Eliminate problematic diet issues – for a long time I had to drop all alcohol, gluten, dairy, and tons of foods that were causing me issues
  • Learn a properly balanced nutrient-dense meal-planning structure
  • Learn how to deal with my genetic mutations effecting metabolism
  • Slowly add in tiny efforts of 7-minute HIIT cycles, anything is good (ie: heal insulin resistence and restore insulin sensitivity to reduce hypoglycemia stresses)
  • Get my systemic imbalances under control (as Dr. Lam says, the OAT axis – more in a bit).
MAINTAIN BALANCE: 
  • Slowly add in supplements specific to my body profile to support healthy function for my MTHFR mutations and adrenal fatigue and insulin resistance and estrogen dominance etc.
  • Slowly re-grow mitochondria that were probably devastated, be sure other items stay in balance while adding new energy-producers to the body – they will consume more resources.
  • Eat only organic, whole, live foods whenever possible, at least 6 fist-sized servings per day.
BUILD RESILIENCY: 
  • As systems heal, you need less of some bits of previous steps, and more of others.  Over time I could add allergen-foods back into my diet.  I’m not so diet-restricted anymore.  Over time I could take less of some supplements.  I expect more resiliency to grow with time so I can wean myself off more of the (enormous numbers) of supplements I’ve had to take over the years.
In short —
I had to learn a ton.  I had to learn a ton about my body and step-by-step how it responded to various supplements and combinations.  I had to learn what each and every symptom meant, and what would give my body what it needed.
Most importantly, I had to learn that Every Day is Constant Adjustment – like riding a bike.  No Static Plan Works.  I had to learn how to carefully listen to my body and learn what to do to re-adjust the handle-bars every few steps along the way to maintain and grow my balance.
The good news is that now:
  • I sleep through the night – OFTEN
  • Especially on good days, I can often do physical things for myself again – I can sometimes cook, clean my own house again, shop for my own groceries again – all things I could not do literally for YEARS.
  • I’m getting my fibroids reduced and my menorrhagia under control – I bleed 1/3 as much as I used to each month, almost a normal (2-4 days heavy) cycle where previously it was 7-15 heavy days with no days off in between.  I expect this to continue to improve as I do another cycle of the “fibroid heal” combo I am using.
  • I can do bits of 7-minute HIIT workouts that I could do NOTHING of before
  • I’m now bedridden roughly only 5-7 days a month, and up to 60% of my previous functionality on good days — where I had been bedridden for months at a time and extremely weak even when I was ‘better’.
  • I have better diet resiliency – I can eat some of the foods I used to love, as long as I don’t overdo it or do it too often.
  • My RLS symptoms are MUCH more rare and lighter now, and I usually can eliminate them within minutes (drink water, balance my electrolytes, take tissue salts, eat a bit of salt, or I need to eat a snack)
  • My fall hay fever is far, far more mild, and I never get the complications I had in college (bronchitis, asthma symptoms, borderline pneumonia)
  • My mood, mental clarity and ability to engage projects has improved radically
I had to make a lot of changes to my life and diet and habits, and STILL I have a way to go to get back to the activity level I could do in my 20s and 30s.
I know – these are broad brush strokes without specific “how to”s.  That would take a lot more time, but I can offer a few leads and starting details about things I’m doing by starting here:
Things improved for me when I was first introduced to Functional Medicine (osteopaths).  Conventional (allopathic) medical  doctors were an absolute horror to deal with, borderline criminal in things they said to me, refusing to give me tests I explicitly asked for to discover or rule-out pre-clinical imbalances, the amount of money they charged me for NO help at all, treatment full of negligence, misinformation, drug-pushing (including substances that should not have been suggested for my body which exacerbated my issues) and lack of education.  Functional Medicine trained doctors are the only medical practitioners I now trust.
I then got more improvement using things I learned from Dr. Ben Lynch (mthfr.net plus youtube introductory videos with visuals) and Dr. Andrew Rosenberg (Boise, Red Mountain) materials online (website and introductory youtube videos).
I added things I learned from them, to the base protocol I was already using from Dr. Lam for Adrenal Exhaustion, and started to really see radical improvements.
“Bedridden” is a very hard place to start.  Your body may need detox (get the garbage out and unclog) first and foremost (like mine did) before you add in any new things to help you heal (diet, supplements, etc).
But if you’re already super low in physical resources, detoxes can be especially draining and devastating.  Most of this process, I lived alone, and some days I could barely make it from my bed to the bathroom.  Showering meant several black-out episodes – if I could shower at all.  I’d black out just trying to walk to the kitchen for food.  I had no energy, so very often I couldn’t manage to cook or even feed myself properly.
Do you have support?  I wish I had had someone who lived with me who could have helped me cook, and help me track my process and heal faster.  Some days my brain fog was so bad I couldn’t even remember what supplements I’d taken a few hours earlier.  I had to learn to build written structures to help me keep track of things.
I started out with blood-tests (LEF.org, summer sale) to find out a baseline of what was going on.  So much of my body was off:
  • I got a comprehensive nutrient panel – I had tons of deficiencies – iodine, zinc, B12, D, K, Iron, Calcium, magnesium, and others.
  • I got a wide-spectrum food sensitivities and allergies test – turned out tons of my daily foods were allergens for me — rice, garlic, dairy, avocado, things I ate every day…
  • I got a comprehensive stress-panel (cortisol, dhea, adrenal function), and comprehensive endocrine panels (estrogens, testosterone, much more) and found out that I had 3 systems in failure — my adrenal system, my thyroid system and my ovarian system (hormones) were totally out of whack.
  • I got a DNA test for MTHFR and found out I have a genetic mutation that contributes to (so many issues I have had) – adrenal fatigue, insomnia, estrogen dominance that lead to fibroids, so much more.  Turns out all these things were preventable if I had been educated by the right doctors 20 or 30 years ago.
  • I also learned that some of my difficulties related to my previously diagnosed heart murmur – symptoms consistent with congestive heart issues (also MTHFR-related)
I learned that my food sensitivities were a result of gluten-induced and candida-induced leaky gut.  I had to deal with that too, heal the gut lining and eliminate the culprits.  I still continue using l-glutamine and l-lycine to keep my gut lining healthier.
But getting the baseline status information wasn’t enough.  When I started taking supplements and products to heal my deficiencies or to detox candida, I had horrible issues.
You see, I had estrogen dominance, which had clogged my detox pathways, so any detox or upgrades I tried only made me worse at first.
So then I started using molybdenum, milk thistle, NAC, and quercetin daily and doing regular simple liver/kidney cleanses to clean out and support my detox pathways.  I used a simple parsley tea for liver cleansing, and simple lemon-water for kidney cleansing.  I have to keep doing them periodically, because I’m still detoxing and healing my system more and more deeply.
I couldn’t even eat fruit for a long time, because the sugars would spike the systemic candida overgrowth and knock me out again.  I had to do an elimination diet and slowly re-add foods back in later as I got my candida, inflammation and food allergies under control.  I’m still getting rid of parasites.  But I can only do one layer at a time, like peeling an onion.  Otherwise my body can’t handle the load and it shuts down again.
So keep in mind, even WITH cleaner detox pathways, my system was so weak at first that each new step I learned I had horrible results before I got better — detox creates Herxheimer reactions in the body, and each baby-step I added to healing my body, I often had to live through the detox reactions.  This taught me that I had to supplement low-B vitamins (B1-B6), molybdenum, NAC, etc and NON-FOLIC-ACID multi-vitamins to help with detoxing and healing.  I also had to slowly pulse in liposomal glutathione to help the body cell-division to create new tissue for my healing.
Also because my system was so very weak, each detox (especially candida detoxes) resulted in UTIs and yeast infections.  So then I had to learn to be sure I used D-Mannose and FemDophilus every detox to protect my excretory channels from infections.
So anyway, going back to my overview list at the top of the email –
I’ve done a ton.
I don’t know what you need to do – you need to get the proper support that suits your unique body situation, body history and family medical history.
I do recommend starting out with a battery of baseline tests and I HIGHLY recommend finding a Functional Medicine Doctor who is Well Experienced in Adrenal Exhaustion, Lyme Disease, Metabolic Disorders and MTHFR.
Can you afford that?  I couldn’t, so I had to educate myself more and more and more and learn a ton.  I made many mistakes along the way.  I also learned a lot.
If you want to ask me questions, feel free.  If you want to talk about your list of symptoms and history, I’ll listen.  Just know that I’m NOT a doctor and CANNOT tell you steps that will work for You.
But I Can tell you a ton about what I did, what worked for me, what didn’t, and what I learned.
I hope this helps, Jody.
Let me know if you want to talk more.
Maya

How to Ruin a Conversation

I’m learning a lot, so I thought I’d share. Plus if you’re really good, you can use these to ruin an entire relationship, not just a conversation. Good luck!

1. Respond to others’ playfulness with contradictory statements instead of a simple smile. Do Not follow the improvisational rule of “yes – and…”, not even for two seconds. That’s too dangerous.

2. Hear others’ expression of pain as a personal criticism. Take it very personally. Get butt hurt. Don’t be curious about what is alive in them. Above all, do Not consider that you might have accidentally stepped on toes in the first place.

3. Talk all about yourself. For 10 minutes, 20 minutes, a half hour, 2 hours even. Don’t ask questions about the other person. Above all, do Not be curious.

3.5  If you do make the mistake of asking a question, be sure to interrupt the reply mid-sentence. Return to point 3.

3.75 Fill every spare second with talk, preferably about yourself. Don’t take a breath after you speak. Definitely don’t take 2 breaths. And be sure to start talking As Soon as the other person’s face hole has taken a tiny pause. Return to item 3.

4. Assume you know, Everything. There’s no way it’s possible someone has a valid point of view you haven’t considered. No way. You’ve travelled the world, you’ve seen it all, surely you must know it All. You’re Omniscient. You’re God.

5. Make everything you encounter “good” or “bad”. It’s not possible that there is no such thing as good and bad, only different perspectives. Above all, be sure to apply this to yourself. It’s not that all things can be both good/bad depending on the situation, it’s that You are bad, or good. There’s no both/and. And there’s no grey area.

6. When someone else is trying to tell you their feelings and needs to resolve an issue, attack them for being “overly sensitive” or for “giving you a hard time”. Resolving issues is Such a Bother.

7. Be fearful. Presume the new person you’re talking to must be crazy. Call them names as soon as you can and run screaming for the hills. Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

8. Do not take in what people tell you. If they tell you they aren’t available, insist they contact you so that You can feel better. Disregard their boundaries. If they say they don’t want single line emails, don’t listen, don’t honor their requests. See item 6.

9. Focus on the past. That was terrible. Oh no saying that was terrible too. Forget that there is a person, right here, right now, standing in front of you. Don’t smile, don’t laugh. You have more important things to think about than what’s right here right now. That was terrible. When this fails, try item 10.

10. Focus on the future. Run that train of projection and fantasy wayyyyy off into the land of what we could do. Or build a scary scenario in your mind about the horrors. Either way, forget that there’s a person you could look at, right here, right now. Don’t look them in the eye. Don’t just Be with them right now. Hey, what are your plans for next month? Oh, and remember to get butt hurt when they ask for one step at a time. See point 6.  When this fails, return to item 9.

11. Never take responsibility for your actions. If it’s pointed out that you stepped on toes, or acted out one of the items in this list, quickly and without reservation Deny, Deny, Deny! Then spin it and ridicule them for speaking up. See item 6 for ideas.  How dare they!

Congratulations!  Now you’re well on your way to ruining conversations and relationships!

Have fun!

Me on Quora on Synchronicity

(Original post here)

Q: Is there a better explanation for extraordinary synchronicities, and prophetic dreams, than Carl Jung’s collective unconscious?

A: While not omniscient or having read all there is to read on the subject, here is my favorite explaination.

The short simple answer – It’s all vibration, baby. Understand that, and you understand prophetic dreams and synchronicity. It’s all very simple.

Here’s what I mean. (Hang in there, this explanation goes from mainstream to advanced very quickly, one step at a time. Wait for it!)

Science, as we know it, often looks at ‘reality’ by dissecting the whole, reducing the variables, using microscopes, and separating the parts. It’s very left-brained. In this myopic way, science (i.e.: the mainstream) finds consciousness (and phenomena like prophetic dreams or synchronicity) elusive and difficult to understand, although quantum mechanics finds interesting phenomena.

All that we actually know we know, is that vibration happens. “I Think, therefore I Am.” Thoughts are vibrational phenomena. Light is vibration in radiant friction. Sound, waves, all vibrational phenomena.

We accept descriptions of ‘reality’ at our scale of observation, but nothing we conventionally think of as ‘reality’ is actually ‘real’.

Atoms are not solid, they are merely coherent patterns of vibration and spin dynamics. Electrons don’t “exist” as permanent phenomena, they blink in and out of existence continually. The electromagnetic phenomena that move our muscles are merely vibrational phenomena.

Cymatics is a newer science that investigates the emergent property of vibrational dynamics interacting on clumps of activity that we call “matter”. Put the right material in a cymatic field, and it looks like Nature. Extraordinary patterns emerge in response to specific frequencies. Movement happens, as if the material “comes to life”.

Rogue waves are another example of emergent phenomena that are only explainable by looking at the interaction of the system experiencing vibratory dynamics.

Developmentally, mainstream western science has yet to master system-thinking.

Those who do seem to understand the nature of Nature best, also look at the larger context of phenomena. They explore “knowledge” beyond the limits of the 5 senses – Gnosis. This is the realm of the right-brain, the spiritually-minded. Jung, I believed, did so well because he rationalized and formalized gnosis that he was exposed to as he experienced Hermeticism, Gnosticism, Kabbalah and other right-brained schools that looked at the whole, rather than only looking at the individual parts like a microscope would.

The Buddhist “Indra’s Net” is one example of humans attempting to describe the larger systemic context in action. The Taoists call it “The Way”. I call it the Fabric of Great Order.

Walter Russell, a scientist credited with ‘discovering’ several elements on the periodic table before mainstream science knew what to look for, was a master of understanding vibrational dynamics. He called it “Mind” (as in, the mind of All). Ian Anderson in the Jethro Tull song, “Skating Away (On The Thin Ice of a New Day)” calls it the Universal Mind.

When we experience Universal Mind, time is simultaneous, not linear. All information is expressed (and available for access) in each and every quantum location. These are also conversations shared among physicists.

If time is simultaneous, all exists Now, past, present, future are all “knowable” in the Now. Tesla said he learned what he learned by tapping into this field. (So have many other ‘scientists’.) Some call this “the Akashic Records”.

If time is simultaneous, we can access a ‘memory’ of ‘future’ events, thus predictive dreams have an obvious place in Nature.

In the trans-egoic state of sleep, in the DMT surge at 4am in the Theta and Delta frequency, we can “tune in” to and access states of awareness not available to the daytime Beta-wave brain.

Who is the observer of the Memory? When you say You are observing your thoughts – who is the You that owns your thoughts? Are you experienced in the Self that you Are beyond the egoic, personal self? Another science that discusses this “woo woo” stuff is called Transpersonal Psychology, and it substantiates and proves (in empirical ways) transpersonal phenomena. See also, the Heart Math Institute.

If we step back and perceive, experientially, the nature of Nature, there is a rich tapestry of vibrational dynamics intersecting, dancing, weaving coherent structures, like rogue waves, and re-dividing all structures back into the Universal Mind of All.

If we learn to listen beyond our ears and see beyond our eyes, we can ‘tune in’ to an entire experience (and intelligences) beyond the 5 senses, get in “Flow” with Nature, and see (as the Taoists teach) that our spiritual development can transcend the first 6 levels of Monkey Ego and Sage Ego.

In these latter 6 stages of spiritual development (ex: in stage 9), we see clearly the Way the vibrational Mind of Nature rises to meet us (the “synchronicity” that we could glimpse, but not understand, in stages 1-8). Some call this Alchemy.

When Nature – like a Holographic Mirror reflecting just the right bit of Universal Mind back to us in the shape that our personal development is ready to see – when Nature rises to meet us, we experience “synchronicity”.

For more about the stages of spiritual development and the nature of Nature as described by the Taoists, you can read “Dragon’s Play”, by Charles Belyea and Steven Tainer.

Recap:

It’s all vibration.

Take the red pill, Neo, and your consciousness will experience much that lies beyond the myopic mainstream western experience. (That’s a Matrix reference, for those not in the know.)

Time is simultaneous. Only at our spiritually young, egoic scale of observation does it look linear. Of course the Greater Spark of Mind within a human can experience “predictive dreams”. It’s all Now. And it’s all available to our consciousness Now, if we tune in properly.

Synchronicity is The Way of Nature. Mind resonates. The system of our unique frequency interacts with the frequency of the greater Whole, and reflects back to us in equal measure to our personal shape and level of development. When we understand it, we call it The Tao or Indra’s Net or Great Order. When we don’t, we say, “Woah, that was quite a synchronicity.”

Hope this helps😉 Cheers!

Current Puppetry

For what it’s worth, and with great vulnerability, here’s a node of my current bodymind puppetry.  I’m posting this as a fishing expedition, because I’m feeling quite truly at my wits’ end.  What do you think?  Email me privately please.  Mayagayam at gmail.

Once upon a time, the strategy was to land myself within a “co-created community of gnostic / priesty peers” – and if I couldn’t find it I tried to create it around me. But travelling the world I didn’t find it; my current energy levels limit most travel. Then I learned that to make community is too slow and too much wrestling – far more work than I want to manage, and takes far more directing / driving than I enjoy.

What was that strategy attempting to feed, anyway? This question brings me to this –

I am still dealing with this existential crisis – what do I do with the body to:
– care for my needs for belonging
– care for my needs for purpose (which would give me clarity and direction)
– provide for my needs for care, comfort and security for the body
– care for my needs for touch, sexual expression, and companionship
– care for my needs for community where I feel seen and wanted, met and appreciated, loved and desired
– care for my need to exercise the feminine and the capacities and the mystic and the I Am of me, in tandem with the body
– care for my needs for engagement and joy in my gnostic-heartful-sexy-playful-intelligent-tipheret ways and beyond
– all within a context of fluidity, ease, restfulness, balance and in integrity with myself
?

The answer to this would answer other questions like, “what do I choose relative to the other puppets I meet along the way?”

?

And, I’m aware that this is all fundamentally nothing more than puppet talk. I remember the conversation asking me to come here.  Who sent me here to begin with and why?

— update, end of March —

Well in the absence of human response to this post, nonetheless the Guardians Guide.  I find the answer is in the question itself.  I read “Dragon’s Play” section 9, and I feel mySelf again.  Thank you all for reading.

Oh Rocky!

I’ve just seen Tim Curry in Rocky Horror for the first time, and spent days basking in the companionship of the Gnostic, Kabbalistic, Hermetic esoteric message. I too remember doing the time warp into this rocky horror science fiction show for the thrills! And just recently, after years of wanting to return to the Trans-sexual, I saw blue skies through my tears, and decided I might actually like to stay. If you experienced this transmission from the movie too, let’s talk!

Ouroboros Wheeeeeeee!

Me, two days ago, when I suddenly realized my en”light”enment practices and meditations and yogic practices (calling divine light into the body’s center channel) — were all toward me returning to residing as the state of consciousness (Ain) that existed before Creation (Ain Soph Aur and the The tree of life) – The state before creation was the Unity Plenum, the Darkness! (and God said let there be light). Which means that the light of life strives to return again to its origin of unity consciousness which was darkness… and the darkness seeks the companionship of other and duality and love and attraction and creation and life… From here – The Darkness is the ultimate beauty and wholeness, not evil, and the Light is the seductive temptress Aphrodite luring us into the flawed incomplete illusion (the naughty wench).  Kether and Source as The Light Bringer (Lucifer). Suddenly the previous bad is the new good, and the old good is the new bad, until they spin in on each other and it’s all good and beautiful, and it’s all heartbreaking…The snake eating its tail… and suddenly I’m not in such a rush to escape “the prison” – What’s the rush? Wheeeeeeeeee!!
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/4b/50/85/4b5085fddf0382fcd53546958d7780f6.gif
  

A Dream of Bipartisan Resolution

WE…don’t resolve anything…like This.

WE…Resolve things….when we sit Together….side-by-side…and ask,
“What do you Value?”.

Notice I didn’t ask, “What do you WANT?”  Because if you ask a CEO what he Wants, and he says he wants a million dollars, well what if we don’t Have a million to Give him?  We’re stuck and fighting again.

We ask, “What do you VALUE?”

Now if INDEPENDENCE is what he values, now we can find out ways to do That in a way that works for Everyone.

We Sit Down, and we Figure It OUT…
Together.


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