D’wave, Qbits and AI

Advertisements

Sorting Out Political Correctness

I was recently asked to watch a video debating the subject of political correctness.

This is my reply.

Thank you for this link, Dick. (I am not name calling, that is his actual name.)

Since you asked me to look at this, I would love to address two points about it: one being the failure of debate and the other being the failure of the label of “political correctness”.

The Failure of Debate

When we argue a subject cognitively, theoretically, based on beliefs and positions, it can be extremely difficult to generate win-win solutions because the goal of debate isn’t to build bridges between values.

In debate, the goal is to win, to prove my point is more valuable than yours. It’s a win-lose game.

Debate disconnects us from our hearts and bodies and actions. And it disconnects us from each other.

Moreover, debate fails because it addresses a global category, a concept, instead of addressing a person or behavior. One cannot eat an elephant all at once, one can only digest it one bite at a time.

Values, not Labels

Debating the concept of “political correctness” underscores the underlying problem with political correctness: the concept is (as best as I can tell) almost always disconnected from the core values. The phrase “political correctness” is a label that does not specify what specifically we actually want.

What core values are we standing up for when we ask someone not to use the word nigger? Respect. Are there are situations where human beings have used that word in loving, respectful ways toward each other? Yes. So the issue is not about the word, because those who choose disdain will likely continue to treat others with distain even while they stop using the word. Addressing the word use is not helpful if we continue to ignore the underlying inflammation behind the distain.

Demands and arguments for political correctness fail because we debate the surface semantics instead of addressing the underlying core values.

Instead, I wish people would address the subject one bite at a time like this:

“Sir, I am sure you don’t mean any disrespect, but when you call me honey, I don’t experience respect. I’d like it better if you save pet names for if and when we are in a mutual, intimate relationship, please. Thank you.”

This speaks to the core values – respect, mutuality, authentic intimacy.

Here’s another option:

“I imagine you did not mean to insult me just now. Did you?”

By asking an individual to take a specific look at their specific behavior, we call them into personal responsibility.

Here’s another:

“Interesting. Why would you call me that/do that/say that?”

With an eye to core values, we can build bridges. We communicate, rather than punish. We open doors to win-win solutions instead of perpetuating polarized antagonism.

With values-based awareness, we stand, solidly, for the power of educating core values and empowering generative requests instead of the weak expressions of distain like namecalling, ridicule or belittling, “retard, fag, grab her pussy”.

(Generative requests are requests that generate win-win solutions. They resolve.)

Over time, if a person persists in distain or is unwilling to integrate requests, then you can choose to upgrade to a more direct heart-to-heart about why, or address needs for support that lead to their anger, or use the law of 2 feet and chose somewhere else. I believe that addressing pain, hate and anger would be far more effective than allowing our pained, disenfranchised neighbors to continue escalating from “politically incorrect” behavior to mass shootings.

Not all words are the problem they are made out to be. Sometimes people hear attack when there is none. Sometimes people treat others with distain even without words. Demanding “nice words” veils authenticity, obscures personal accountability and generates resentment by suppressing the issue instead of caringly resolving it.

If we want to see a company hire as many women as men, that is a measurable, specific, doable request. The categorical broad brush stroke called ”be politically correct” is not a specific, doable action that includes the other person’s values.

Some people are not willing to be sincere, and have deep rooted reasons for distain. We cannot address the underlying innocence without presence, care and dialogue.

By addressing the core values and making doable win-win requests, we can digest the subject one action at a time. We invite dialogue. We build bridges. We create deep resolution, not bandaids.

If the hope is to resolve culture wars, I don’t see us bridging this, or any other differences, unless we learn win-win resolutions based in core values and doable requests.

The title of this post is based on my 5-step win-win problem-solving tool called, “SORTTing It Out” (yes, 2 Ts).

If anyone reading this would like coaching to support more “political correctness“ in your life, work or community,  or to learn more about SORTTing It Out, you can contact me, or subscribe to my free newsletter for more details:
27 Tips For Sanity – https://TipsForSanity.com/subscribe

Wow!

This video shows how Google’s new product, Google Duplex, will make appointment setting calls for you. Wow.

 

SORTTing Out Shyness

 I just posted this response on Quora, here:

Why am I so nervous, shy and self conscious in public – and how do I overcome them?

As a life coach and counselor for more than 20 years, I can tell you that there are many forms of process work which can help you answer your question and help you overcome your shy, nervous self-consciousness.

For example, in my work with clients I facilitate a process I call SORTTing It Out. The process shows how feelings like shyness or nervousness are, like a grumbling stomach, just symptoms pointing to underlying core values that are hungry to be fed. Care well for the core values, and the emotions resolve themselves.

Here are examples of what I mean:

For some clients, shyness and nervousness rises when they unconsciously want to be liked, appreciated, valued, and cherished. When we empower the client to better care for those needs, the shy, nervousness self-consciousness is replaced with simple requests, confidence, ease and natural radiance.

For some clients, shyness and nervousness comes from a body that learned as a child that groups of people are “unsafe”. This is especially true with clients who experienced ridicule or judgment as children. Resolve the childhood traumas, and the body finds its own infinite safety, and nervousness and shyness disappear.

In other words, to resolve shyness, care for the core values triggering the shyness and nervousness, or find a coach or wellness practitioner who can help you to do so.

Here are a few questions and resources to help you get started:

1. Imagine that the shy nervous aspect of you is another person. Have a conversation with it. What is it nervous about? What is it afraid of? What does it most deeply want that it’s not sure it’ll get, that makes it shy? Make a list of the answers.

2. Whatever list of answers you get from number 1, notice the underlying core values that the voices are trying to feed. For example, if one line is, “I’m scared I’m not good enough,” ask yourself, “what underlying need or value would be fed if I trust that I am good enough?” Maybe you will discover that you’d want to be good enough so that you will be loved. Or maybe you will discover that you want to be good enough so that you will be included and wanted. At some level, we all need to be loved, included, and wanted. Notice that there is an innocent desire underneath every scared, nervous voice.

3. Give yourself empathy for the underlying core values, or find someone who can. Exhale the feeling of scared, or nervous, and inhale how much you just want to be loved and wanted (or whatever the core value happens to be). With loving appreciation, just notice the underlying desire. Like a loving friend, just sit with the yearning and breathe deeply.

4. Notice the ways your body shifts. Notice how just getting a little empathy helps you feel better. Maybe you even felt a little bit of relief from the empathy just in these words. When you start to feel better, that’s proof that your psychology is getting some of the empathic care that it needs.

5. Once you are fully connected to the underlying core values, ask yourself, “what request can I make of myself or others to feed this need right here, right now, in 10 minutes or less?” Take action to feed your need right now. For example, if you discover that you feel shy because you want to be appreciated, what request could you make of yourself or others right now to feel appreciated? Maybe you will make a list of three things you appreciate about yourself. Maybe you will ask three friends to tell you something they appreciate about you. If you don’t know what to ask for, ask other people what they ask for, “What requests do you make when you want to feel appreciated?”

6. As you get more and more powerful at both self-empathy and making requests to care for your underlying needs, you won’t keep getting so shy or nervous or self-conscious. Eventually, you may even discover that the very needs themselves, well cared for this way, begin to simply evaporate. Doing the practice well, over time, we discover and reconnect to the infinite beings that we must truly are. We connect to our Highest Selves.

7. For more help with this practice, you can sign up (free) for 27 Tips For Sanity, at http://TipsForSanity.com/subscribe , get invitations to discount practice groups, or call the number there to receive coaching support.

Good luck with your practice! You can do it!

Robotics and AI Updates

Wow – Robotics updates, click here!

AI updates, click here!

Quora Self-Care

I recently posted this answer on Quora.

This recipe rescued me from debilitating issues that kept me bedridden for the better part of 4years between 2012 and 2016.  My big turnaround came from protocol I built after years of research and study.

I hope you’ll gain as much benefit from it as I have throughout my life.

With blessings,

Maya

Q: How do I get rid of the shakes?

A:

1. Find out the cause. Do you drink coffee or alcohol take cocaine or other drugs? Do you eat 3 properly balanced meals a day (low blood sugar can make you shake)? Have you been in some accident or other physical trauma? Is the trigger emotional, biochemical, environmental, etc? Have you done comprehensive blood work including a nutritional panel and find out what deficiencies may be contributing to issues? Do you have habits of thought that contribute to tension, anxiety or panic? Have you seen an endocrinologist and/or a neurologist? Do you maintain proper electrolyte and water balance in your system? You may have to uncover multiple contributing factors before you can resolve your issue.

2. Give your system the support it needs. If the cause is psychological, get the psychological and emotional support you need (ex: an experienced counselor like me, or a licensed therapist). If the cause is physical, get a functional medicine doctor or nutritional counselor or some other professional who can help you track, repair and eliminate deficiencies. Do you test positive for MTHFR? Do you have heavy metal overload? Do you have fungal or other infections? Do you take probiotics for a healthy gut? You may have to heal multiple systems to resolve your issue.

3. Exercise. If you have an extraordinarily advanced, zen psychology and your blood work shows no deficiencies (practically impossible – most Americans are deficient in zinc, magnesium, iodine, vitamin K, choline and other essential nutrients), then you may need to try yoga or other meditative practices, along with other forms of exercise, that entrain your electrical system to calm, balance, strength, flexibility and endurance. Insufficient exercise can be a contributing factor.

Just like a luxury performance car, human beings are multi-faceted creatures with many systems. If you want your body to work better, you and your system support structures need to get better. In my work, we explore 10 aspects of the human system, all needing to work well together if you want to avoid and resolve problems.

If you’d like to learn more, or if you’d like a free consultation toward an ongoing coaching relationship, you can contact me at info at tipsforsanity dot com.

Good luck!

Easy Pop Tarts – GF non-GMO

Personally, I dread cooking. But I love pop tarts, and I don’t love store-bought products’ added soy, sugars, corn, etc… that’s how this post happened. I’m so delighted about how this experiment worked out.

If you are like me, and you like to eat gluten-free but don’t like the rice fillers, I hope you will enjoy this recipe.

Easy Pop Tarts / Folded Pastries

Makes 4-6 pastries.

1/4 cup organic sorghum flour
1/8 cup gluten-free oat flour
1/8 cup organic buckwheat flour
1/8 cup potato starch or green bean starch
1/8 cup tapioca starch
1/8 cup arrowroot flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder ( I make my own without cornstarch)
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp xanthan gum or 1 egg or 1 Tbsp ground flax seed
1 Tbsp sweetener (ex: coconut sugar or jaggery or brown sugar) – omit for more savory pastries
1/2 cup frozen butter-flavored shortening (I use Nutiva’s version)
4oz organic apple sauce

Also, have your flavoring/filling* on hand, 1/2 – 1 Tbsp for each pop tart.

Preheat oven to  400°F.

In a bowl, blend all dry ingredients together well.

Cut in shortening with pastry cutter until well blended.

With a large fork, mix in applesauce and dribbles of water (a tablespoon or so at a time as needed) to form dough. Try not to handle the dough too much.

Between sheets of plastic wrap, roll out dough to a rectangular sheet a little less than a quarter inch thick.

Remove top plastic wrap. With a fork, carve lines in the pastry to make long rectangles (ex: 3″x7″).

Spread 1/2-1 Tbsp of filling*  on the bottom half of each rectangle, leaving a quarter inch bare margin around the edges. Fold the top half of the long rectangles down over the flavored half to form a small pastry. Press the open edges together with fingers or with a fork. (Seal the edges with water if you want. I didn’t and the pastries were fine.)

Lay each pastry on a parchment paper-lined cookie sheet. Poke each pastry with a fork three or four times to make vent holes in the tops.

Bake at 400-425°F for 20-25 minutes. Allow to cool on the counter for 10 minutes before eating.

*My favorite filling is raspberry jam, but other options include brown sugar and cinnamon, or chocolate, or other flavored jams.  You could also use sliced ham and cheese in the middle if you wanted, or other fillings.  These can also be glazed, but I prefer them without glaze.

Please tell me if you make modifications to the recipe that you like. I love new delicious ideas.

Enjoy!

 

 


Thank you Love!

Thank you to the friends who help keep my content flowing. To share your love with me, please Click Here to Donate. Thank you <3

Quick Browse

RSS Quote of the Day

  • Christopher Morley
    "No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."
June 2018
M T W T F S S
« May    
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930  

RSS My Recent Twitters

  • An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.

All Entries Copyright (c) 2007-2014 Gail Taylor. All Rights Reserved.

Advertisements