SORTTing Out Shyness

 I just posted this response on Quora, here:

Why am I so nervous, shy and self conscious in public – and how do I overcome them?

As a life coach and counselor for more than 20 years, I can tell you that there are many forms of process work which can help you answer your question and help you overcome your shy, nervous self-consciousness.

For example, in my work with clients I facilitate a process I call SORTTing It Out. The process shows how feelings like shyness or nervousness are, like a grumbling stomach, just symptoms pointing to underlying core values that are hungry to be fed. Care well for the core values, and the emotions resolve themselves.

Here are examples of what I mean:

For some clients, shyness and nervousness rises when they unconsciously want to be liked, appreciated, valued, and cherished. When we empower the client to better care for those needs, the shy, nervousness self-consciousness is replaced with simple requests, confidence, ease and natural radiance.

For some clients, shyness and nervousness comes from a body that learned as a child that groups of people are “unsafe”. This is especially true with clients who experienced ridicule or judgment as children. Resolve the childhood traumas, and the body finds its own infinite safety, and nervousness and shyness disappear.

In other words, to resolve shyness, care for the core values triggering the shyness and nervousness, or find a coach or wellness practitioner who can help you to do so.

Here are a few questions and resources to help you get started:

1. Imagine that the shy nervous aspect of you is another person. Have a conversation with it. What is it nervous about? What is it afraid of? What does it most deeply want that it’s not sure it’ll get, that makes it shy? Make a list of the answers.

2. Whatever list of answers you get from number 1, notice the underlying core values that the voices are trying to feed. For example, if one line is, “I’m scared I’m not good enough,” ask yourself, “what underlying need or value would be fed if I trust that I am good enough?” Maybe you will discover that you’d want to be good enough so that you will be loved. Or maybe you will discover that you want to be good enough so that you will be included and wanted. At some level, we all need to be loved, included, and wanted. Notice that there is an innocent desire underneath every scared, nervous voice.

3. Give yourself empathy for the underlying core values, or find someone who can. Exhale the feeling of scared, or nervous, and inhale how much you just want to be loved and wanted (or whatever the core value happens to be). With loving appreciation, just notice the underlying desire. Like a loving friend, just sit with the yearning and breathe deeply.

4. Notice the ways your body shifts. Notice how just getting a little empathy helps you feel better. Maybe you even felt a little bit of relief from the empathy just in these words. When you start to feel better, that’s proof that your psychology is getting some of the empathic care that it needs.

5. Once you are fully connected to the underlying core values, ask yourself, “what request can I make of myself or others to feed this need right here, right now, in 10 minutes or less?” Take action to feed your need right now. For example, if you discover that you feel shy because you want to be appreciated, what request could you make of yourself or others right now to feel appreciated? Maybe you will make a list of three things you appreciate about yourself. Maybe you will ask three friends to tell you something they appreciate about you. If you don’t know what to ask for, ask other people what they ask for, “What requests do you make when you want to feel appreciated?”

6. As you get more and more powerful at both self-empathy and making requests to care for your underlying needs, you won’t keep getting so shy or nervous or self-conscious. Eventually, you may even discover that the very needs themselves, well cared for this way, begin to simply evaporate. Doing the practice well, over time, we discover and reconnect to the infinite beings that we must truly are. We connect to our Highest Selves.

7. For more help with this practice, you can sign up (free) for 27 Tips For Sanity, at http://TipsForSanity.com/subscribe , get invitations to discount practice groups, or call the number there to receive coaching support.

Good luck with your practice! You can do it!

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Robotics and AI Updates

Wow – Robotics updates, click here!

AI updates, click here!

Quora Self-Care

I recently posted this answer on Quora.

This recipe rescued me from debilitating issues that kept me bedridden for the better part of 4years between 2012 and 2016.  My big turnaround came from protocol I built after years of research and study.

I hope you’ll gain as much benefit from it as I have throughout my life.

With blessings,

Maya

Q: How do I get rid of the shakes?

A:

1. Find out the cause. Do you drink coffee or alcohol take cocaine or other drugs? Do you eat 3 properly balanced meals a day (low blood sugar can make you shake)? Have you been in some accident or other physical trauma? Is the trigger emotional, biochemical, environmental, etc? Have you done comprehensive blood work including a nutritional panel and find out what deficiencies may be contributing to issues? Do you have habits of thought that contribute to tension, anxiety or panic? Have you seen an endocrinologist and/or a neurologist? Do you maintain proper electrolyte and water balance in your system? You may have to uncover multiple contributing factors before you can resolve your issue.

2. Give your system the support it needs. If the cause is psychological, get the psychological and emotional support you need (ex: an experienced counselor like me, or a licensed therapist). If the cause is physical, get a functional medicine doctor or nutritional counselor or some other professional who can help you track, repair and eliminate deficiencies. Do you test positive for MTHFR? Do you have heavy metal overload? Do you have fungal or other infections? Do you take probiotics for a healthy gut? You may have to heal multiple systems to resolve your issue.

3. Exercise. If you have an extraordinarily advanced, zen psychology and your blood work shows no deficiencies (practically impossible – most Americans are deficient in zinc, magnesium, iodine, vitamin K, choline and other essential nutrients), then you may need to try yoga or other meditative practices, along with other forms of exercise, that entrain your electrical system to calm, balance, strength, flexibility and endurance. Insufficient exercise can be a contributing factor.

Just like a luxury performance car, human beings are multi-faceted creatures with many systems. If you want your body to work better, you and your system support structures need to get better. In my work, we explore 10 aspects of the human system, all needing to work well together if you want to avoid and resolve problems.

If you’d like to learn more, or if you’d like a free consultation toward an ongoing coaching relationship, you can contact me at info at tipsforsanity dot com.

Good luck!

Easy Pop Tarts – GF non-GMO

Personally, I dread cooking. But I love pop tarts, and I don’t love store-bought products’ added soy, sugars, corn, etc… that’s how this post happened. I’m so delighted about how this experiment worked out.

If you are like me, and you like to eat gluten-free but don’t like the rice fillers, I hope you will enjoy this recipe.

Easy Pop Tarts / Folded Pastries

Makes 4-6 pastries.

1/4 cup organic sorghum flour
1/8 cup gluten-free oat flour
1/8 cup organic buckwheat flour
1/8 cup potato starch or green bean starch
1/8 cup tapioca starch
1/8 cup arrowroot flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder ( I make my own without cornstarch)
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp xanthan gum or 1 egg or 1 Tbsp ground flax seed
1 Tbsp sweetener (ex: coconut sugar or jaggery or brown sugar) – omit for more savory pastries
1/2 cup frozen butter-flavored shortening (I use Nutiva’s version)
4oz organic apple sauce

Also, have your flavoring/filling* on hand, 1/2 – 1 Tbsp for each pop tart.

Preheat oven to  400°F.

In a bowl, blend all dry ingredients together well.

Cut in shortening with pastry cutter until well blended.

With a large fork, mix in applesauce and dribbles of water (a tablespoon or so at a time as needed) to form dough. Try not to handle the dough too much.

Between sheets of plastic wrap, roll out dough to a rectangular sheet a little less than a quarter inch thick.

Remove top plastic wrap. With a fork, carve lines in the pastry to make long rectangles (ex: 3″x7″).

Spread 1/2-1 Tbsp of filling*  on the bottom half of each rectangle, leaving a quarter inch bare margin around the edges. Fold the top half of the long rectangles down over the flavored half to form a small pastry. Press the open edges together with fingers or with a fork. (Seal the edges with water if you want. I didn’t and the pastries were fine.)

Lay each pastry on a parchment paper-lined cookie sheet. Poke each pastry with a fork three or four times to make vent holes in the tops.

Bake at 400-425°F for 20-25 minutes. Allow to cool on the counter for 10 minutes before eating.

*My favorite filling is raspberry jam, but other options include brown sugar and cinnamon, or chocolate, or other flavored jams.  You could also use sliced ham and cheese in the middle if you wanted, or other fillings.  These can also be glazed, but I prefer them without glaze.

Please tell me if you make modifications to the recipe that you like. I love new delicious ideas.

Enjoy!

 

 

Laughing with the Dark

One path to Divine Peace is the path of balance, moderation, The Middle Way.  This path is a dance with, not against opposites. Yin and yang, darkness and light, both / and; the practice resists nothing, because anything we seek to resist is a mirror of our own opportunities to increase our own self-awareness, freedom and Divine Self-expression.

Paradoxically, however, integrating the darkness can’t be done while we’re resisting it. To integrate the darkness is to face the paper tiger (and I assure you, the paper is thin), to plummet into the abyss so deeply that there’s nothing left but to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Dance the Sacred Theater of the horrible macabre that you fear, unresisted, for just 90 seconds, and watch how it melts and transforms.

If the individual can watch the shadow with pure observation, from the depths of darkness we rise like the Phoenix, enlightened of our significance, full of humility, surrender, compassion and an extraordinary sense of humor, able to move fluidly and matter-of-factly again into the ever-renewing Now.

Ambi-Brained AI Dev Possibilities

I’ve just posted the following at this page:

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/enlightenment-vs-integrated-intelligence-twain-liu/

Twain, hallelujah. In attemping to apply empathy and Emotional Intelligence to current tools in AI, I have come to the same conclusion again and again: garbage in, garbage out. While the bulk of our human understanding (and that of the bulk of AI developers) is inherently dominantly left-brained or right-brained, the outcomes of AI can only reveal and mirror our human limitations. Truly powerful development of AI will require stewards of more ambi-hemispheric, trans-developmental perspectives if we are to uncover the key(s) that can (computationally) fractally grow from origin seeds, to “learning”, “comprehension”, and beyond. AI of this nature would quickly, for example, be capable of a trans-conventional, trans-relativistic and trans-post-postmodern morality-beyond-morality, rivaling that of the master mystics (far beyond the comprehensional capacity of the majority of human beings) and would reveal to humanity a new stage in our collective development – the opportunity to differentiate the nature of mechanistic “thinking” from the more subtle, transpersonal aspects of Consciousness, allowing us to finally extend exploration in the sciences beyond a “separate parts” approach, into a “whole dynamic systems” approach and beyond, revealing to us greater awareness of the nature of Nature. I look forward to reading more of your work, and doing all I can to contribute to the birth of this new generation of AI. My compliments! – Maya Gail Taylor

Grow And Diffuse

I had a dream – it was Post Apocalypse. Few of us were left. People were talking about preventing starvation by gathering supplies from what was left. I told them that gathering remnant supplies was insufficient, soon we will run out of supplies to gather. We need to think about replenishing supplies. We need to plan to grow sufficient crops to feed our people, repicably, year after year.

But then it became clear that no one in our group knows how to grow food. I tell them life is resilient. I tell them we need to find seeds and plant them. I tell them we need to find food already growing in the earth. Finally everyone is on board, and the group disperses.

Then I was walking the perimeter of our camp, and I found explosive charges in the ground. Some were inert, already detonated, but some were still live charges. Very dangerous, these could kill people. I set about attempting to safely detonate the charges, one by one. It occurred to me that while human beings exist, there will always be someone making bombs, planting charges, that could explode in dangerous moments. Growing food is not enough. There also needs to be a cultural process for defusing charges before people get violent or get killed. Both are necessary in order to sustain a healthy population.

(Charges does not only refer to physical explosive devices. The word “charge” is also used to describe emotional states, as in, “It’s an emotionally charged subject.” The dream clearly points to addressing the aspect of human nature that innocently (and sometimes not so innocently) generates charges against other, charged subjects and charged situations.

At the end of the dream, someone else joined me. I was asked why I was doing this, if most vital thing to do now is to grow food. I replied, “what is the value of sustaining our population if we wind up getting our legs blown off by live charges anyway?” I explained that this function (diffusing the charges) is also necessary if we don’t want to blow ourselves up just walking around in our day-to-day life. I said that if there is no process among our individuals to diffuse charges, soon there are no safe places to walk without getting blown up.

I then taught the other how to safely diffuse the charges with me, and the two of us set about to our work.

Incidentally, I believe the best practice here is culturally practiced needs-conscious empathy for self, needs-consciousness empathy for other, and mediation based in needs consciousness and restorative justice.


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