Many of my coaching clients get tremendous results and benefit from a body of work I’ve created called “Powerful Requests”. Although it goes in tandem with another body of work I call “The 10-Minute Manifestor” – “Powerful Requests” elements also often stand alone.
Here’s an excerpt from “Powerful Requests” that I hope you’ll enjoy using!
Directing and Informing are two styles of how we can make requests. In Directing, we explicitly direct the person to fulfill what we’d like (we ask that they tell us something, or do something that will meet a need for us, or agree to a change that will gift us both). In Informing, we simply give them information and let them come up with a thought about what they’ll do about it.
“I’m cold.” – Informing
“Would you grab me a sweater please?” – Directing
Both styles are powerful. In the play of energies of yin and yang, if we imagine that the Informing style is yin, and the directing style is yang – by having full skill to use both, we can more effectively support the world around us. Some people will resent being directed; meeting them with yin Informing style may be a gift that opens them. Some will be confused if they are met with the Informing style and not take action to attend to the needs at hand. They may find it a gift to be simply directed at what it will take to contribute to the need on the table.
Often when clients come to me for help to manifest the kind of ease, fulfillment, and thriving they’d like, they may be adept at Informing but not so adept at Directing.
The skill of clearly, explicitly speaking to your underlying needs and what you want others to do about contributing to your needs can make or break your life thriving.
Extract on Stronger Directing:
When making a request, be sure your request tells the person (or yourself) what you want Done – not just the outcome you want or the circumstances you experience.
Client: I told him I wanted a lighter schedule!
G: As him, I hear you giving me information, but it doesn’t tell me what you want me to do. You might opt to strengthen your request with:
Ex: I’d like no more than 3 hours this week. Could you tell me if that’s workable?
Here you’re telling them to do something – to tell you if they can honor the prior sentence.
Other direct requests (ones that tell the speaker what you want them to do) might include:
Ex: Please tell me which 3 hours you’d like of me.
Ex: Please erase 7 of the 10 hours from my schedule.
Ex: Please schedule me only on Monday from 9-12.
The more you direct, rather than inform, the more likely your request will be met.