I met someone recently who’s totally new to Polyamory, and asking me questions about it.
One of his comments was, “I just don’t know how I’d feel about it.”
Anyway, this conversation got me thinking about so many people I’ve met over the years – how so many of us tragically choose to shut down our heart and love out of a desire to protect ourselves from possible pains.
The conversation also got me thinking about so people I know who have suffered huge losses out of a lack of skills in how to easily metabolize pain. Lost relationships, divorces, anger, accusations, belittling – it splits my heart open in heartbreak.
Egads how I love the inspiration life brings.
It occurred to me that the phenomena of dealing with pain powerfully isn’t just for polyamorous folks – relationship pain happens even if you’re monogamous. Monogamous people suffer jealousy. Monogamous people deal with spouses having attraction to others. Monogamous people get frustrated at their partner’s actions sometimes. Monogamous people worry about the longevity and stability of their relationships.
Pain, worry and discomfort can emerge in our experience no matter what our circumstances. How do we live with it in a way that is most likely to open us and the world around us into greater ease and fulfillment?
Our culture doesn’t teach this core skill, the skill of how to powerfully deal with pain.
So I got mad inspired and wrote this post:
Powerfully Processing Pain
I didn’t write it poly-specific – but it applies to the subjects of monogamy and polyamory too.
Tell me what you think of it.