Yearning for Possibility

my heart breaks
my practice is to write – put it out there
so i’m putting
my heartbreak

every day i see
the pain of irritation
of judgment
of conclusions
and people fighting for their own righteous thinking.

rarely do i hear people translate

so let me be the change:

i imagine they’re wanting to be heard
out of wanting hope for a better world
like i often do.

i imagine they’re doing the best they can,
trying to live in integrity with themselves
and their beliefs
as i often do.

i’m noticing my heart opening a bit,
but not yet. not much.

so i’ll grieve.
i grieve the frequency with which
and my friends
practice “higher wisdom”
without ever practicing
basic translation of compassion
not the compassion of ‘i love you’
but the compassion of translation
translating others’ actions
to the universal underlying motives
that we all share

until the beauty of it opens
the heart

i grieve my pain
i hear my own underlying yearning
for hope
for hope for ease among my brothers and sisters
for hope for peace
for hope for less pain

my hope for transmission
of this practice
as a strategy for creation
of the beauty and ease that can be

today i witnessed a friend
speaking of tonglen as a counter-practice to irritation
for my practice that’s not in integrity
for me, that’s supression. denial.
for my practice,
integrity is first recognizing
the needs crying and yearning in me
that lead to my irritation
and grieve that
and THEN to open consciousness
to grok the others’ universal drives

this opens my heart
and *then*
my tonglen conducting
is in integrity

all of this,
because i want hope
for how i’m received by others out in the world

all of this,
because i want hope
for others to live joyful lives

all of this,
because i want hope
for the universal transmission of
grokking each other.

so now i’ve done a bit of grieving
and i’ve connected to the universal core needs in me
beneath the irritation in my personality
i exhale my heavy heart of silent crying
my yearning for that translation
as a strategy for my hope
while inhaling my yearning for hope
inhaling my yearning for the ease and beauty i see possible
among humans

and now my heavy heart feels measurably lighter
and i can return to my focus on other –
ah yes, now i can feel the beauty
of them trying to live congruent with their integrity
ah yes, now i can feel my heart-opening and softness
awakening to the beauty of them
doing their best
we all,
all of us,
like children, in The Playground

and now as Love carries me,
i see the I/eye of Creation,
smiling at it all
the sand
the sandbox
the sand in the eye
the crying hearts
and the love

and Creation Joy
ah, how Chosen it all is/was.

including the pain
of yearning.


1 Response to “Yearning for Possibility”

  1. 1 Len 'avi' Lipkins September 2, 2009 at 10:55 pm

    Beutifull article! “poem of life”

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