In our evolution, we realize that it’s not very effective to ask for a “not”. We can’t do a don’t. For example, tell a 3-year old, “Don’t eat that cookie”. Good luck getting the child to focus elsewhere that way. We learn that instead, it’s far more effective to ask for what we DO want. “Here, play with this toy instead.”
We’re all children at heart (yes, even you grumbly cynics). So we all benefit from asking “Do”s instead of asking “don’t”s. It’s less effective to say, “don’t interrupt me” and far more effective to say, “Please wait a sec, I’d like to finish what I’m saying before you speak again,” or, “I want to be sure we’re on the same page, can you tell me back what you are hearing me say so far?” Telling a colleague, “don’t be late” only reinforces the echo of “late”, but saying, “Please arrive 10 minutes early” tells them what to do that you’d like better.
Asking for “do”s works better than asking for “don’t”s. We intuitively get the power of this.
But have you ever noticed that the 10 Commandments are written as “don’t”s?
The list below came to me in a meditation, under the title, “The Gospel of Gabriel”. I thought it interesting that the list came as “do”s instead of “don’t”s. I found the “do”s far more powerful than the “don’t”s of the 10 Commandments.
I also thought it was interesting that, as I live each of these, results naturally emerge, like “the golden rule”, natural reciprocity, treasuring life, an abundant desire to offer service (as a gift, out of my joy and gratitude), system awareness and a freedom from shame, guilt and blaming.
I hope you find as much joy, relief and freedom comes to you from living these as I do.
With love and blessings,
The Gospel of Gabriel
– Just Trust
– and Trust Yourself
– Be WITH each other
– Ask for what you need and want – and play with ways to enjoy your fulfillment in ways that also honor what others need and want
– Grieve – this too shall pass
– Remember, all things melt into all other things, eventually
– Enjoy gratitude, celebration and appreciation – as frequently as possible
– Only say “yes” when you really mean it (a 7 or better of joy on a scale of 10)
– Lean into fear. Embrace it. Become radically free of it. The yearnings behind fear have radical, infinite opening power.
– Breathe – deep and long, and from the lower belly
– Observe and quote data only. Opinion, assessments and judgment are merely symptoms of underlying core values.
– We’re always either doing opening – or closing. Doing love, or doing fear. How about now?
– Hear the fear and the yearning behind every judgment, frustration, irritation, contraction or closure.