Archive for April, 2012

Have you heard…?

Have you heard about Nibiru, also known by many other names (Neberu, Nebiru, Planet X, 2003 UB-313, Planet Eris, Marduk, Nibirus Minoris, Wormwood and others)?

If not, you should.  This body and its many moons, during its clockwise orbit around a brown dwarf (the second star in our binary star system) has a very wide orbit that crosses through our solar system (near Jupiter) every 3600 years.  It’s said to be on the way here again, now.  By the way, it’s huge, larger than Jupiter, and passing through our solar system would magnetically attract our south pole and literally flip the planet into a 180 degree pole reversal in as little as three days.

Information about Nibiru includes:

This is not the same body as the comet Elenin, which passed last November, although some say Elenin is a satellite that lets us know Nibiru is on the way.

I wonder if the Mayan calendar ends in 2012 because that’s when Nibiru’s path visits us again, and they could not predict what impact it will have.  Noah survived it and the Sumerians were around to talk about it, so presumably it is a survivable phenomena.  However according to Sumerian texts it was also a Nibiru visit that impacted Earth (Tiamet) so dearly that it split the planet in half resulting in the Asteroid Belt and our moon.  Biblical accounts and prophesies match accounts and warnings of Nibiru.  Welcome, rosey crossing neighbor.

Now, more than ever, we have the opportunity to step into the Light that we most deeply Are.  It’s time.

What will you be doing from November this year to Dec 2014?

Let’s talk!

Meanwhile, if you really want to take a walk on the “wild” side, I also liked this video synopsis about Nibiru and also liked this very coherent report also including info on the origin of Human DNA and Sumerian Texts.  Here’s a two-hour radio interview about it (including a long list of historical evidence) and a page with several ‘safe locations during pole shifts‘ videos.

Self-Trust

Today’s practices:

  • When the little voice directs, act without hesitation.
  • Release what needs to be released.

Rinse and repeat.

2012 and Beyond

Today I finished the 6th hour.   I’ve been enjoying Barbara Marciniak recordings. S.l.o.w.l.y.

I like her work because it resonates with me, and it too combines somatics, toning (cymatics). sacred geometry, and conscious human evolution.  I’m also hearing more trans-planetary perspectives on human history that leave me curious and researching more.

My practice of doing meditative sits with specific sacred geometric shapes (3D flower of life, tantric terra prana star, sri yantra, merkaba and others) also lead me to thetemplate.org – Rumi and I have listened to several video snippets on youtube and then bought the 3-CD set and the first movie.  So far we’ve listened to just the first (Foundation and Original Innocence) CDs, and we’ll watch the DVD video today.

Youtube snippets from TheTemplate –

Amazing. Highly recommended.

PS: Added at 6pmET – oh my holy cats batman.  The first DVD from thetemplate.org – 5 ceremonies – holy opening batman.  If you have any inclination at all toward the evolution of consciousness – Get The DVD!  Highly, highly recommended.

Compassion For My Own Darkness

Today’s practice that’s most pushing me – compassion with my own darkness.

‘Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of other’s. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity and open our hearts to another.” ― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

There's Nothing To Forgive

My practice today is rooted in a body experience of feeling, clearly, “There’s nothing to forgive.”

The first time I had this experience was related to my mother. As a child I suffered a great deal of child abuse. As protective services tried to attend to me I lived in a total of three foster homes.

One day in my twenties my mother called me, saying, “I think you have never forgiven me.” I had long ago given up any “making wrong” of my mother; she was a product of her family, a product of her developmental lines, and a product of the cards dealt to her by Life. I recognized the places where she literally couldn’t help but be the person she was. I also saw the deep guilt she carried for not feeling her own power to be more at choice in her behavior. As I said to her, “Mom, there’s nothing to forgive,” she let out a huge sigh of relief.

I think my mother still grapples with her own guilt, the product of unreleased grief for years and years of actions that met certain of her needs but not others.

But when I, as an individual, am grieving my own pain and losses, so much so that there’s no more hurt, no more anger, no feeling of retribution and no losses left to need restoring, then I hold no residue for what happened, and I no longer participate in a perpetuation of blame, shame and guilt.

Yesterday I was listening to a CD from thetemplate.org, who offer ceremonies for conscious human evolution. One of the foundational ceremonies is about forgiveness. And again I heard this phrase, “There is nothing to forgive.”

So as my practice I took on this inquiry: How is it true that there is nothing to forgive? I especially wanted to apply my answers to any remaining residue or pain I still carry.

Below, you’ll see the list I came up with of why, in fact, There’s Nothing To Forgive. If you have additional items to add, please do! I’ll look forward to your comments below.

However what I ultimately realized after writing this list is that the only way my body can experience the truth of “There Is Nothing To Forgive” is after I have completed my release work for my hurts, pains and losses. (You can find free articles I wrote about release work both here on my blog and also free on ThriveDrive.com ).

When my body still experiences unresolved pain, hurt, or losses, I don’t feel forgiveness, I feel heavy-hearted at best or judgmental and angry at worst. My judgments and anger are my keys to finding and the resolving places in my heart where I have not yet completed my release work.

So with this I offer you my love and prayer for peace on Earth, and in each one of us, in the form of the felt sense of forgiveness, “There Is Nothing To Forgive.”

1. They did the best they could, given what they were given, taught, and habituated to. Given their vMeme development levels and levels of development on their lines of development, they could not have behaved any other way.

2. All actions – even those I don’t like – are rooted in attempts to meet underlying universal needs. My job is to attend to my pain and losses (including making restorative requests), and to be able to inquire into the underlying universal needs trying to be fed. There too am I.

3. Given our genetic modifications, the still-in-progress reclamation of fully-operating gene sequences in our DNA, it makes absolute sense that they/we/human beings have done what we have done.

4. In Great Order, all emergent properties are of learning, growing, and Experiencing (including mistakes and tragedies). Just like a child tripping while learning to walk, or a curious infant breaking toys while learning how to interact with the environment, all of human history (all of my history) moments are perfect puzzle pieces in the larger Tapestry.

5. In the inter-connected, re-cycled, holographic, reincarnating Uni-verse, There Too Am I – learning, Experiencing, and making innocent mistakes, some even consciously, as a young Soul.

6. My need for healing and release-work to care for my pains, so that I may name and feed my needs, does not make Human Evolution Mistakes anything more or anything less than, “Young”.

With this I offer a prayer for release.

Today's Practice – Peace with Gap Experiences

Today was a bumpy practice day. I guess the question I asked yesterday opened opportunities (so to speak).

In the wake of me asking what it would be like to Love as Light/God Loves, I keep seeing the places where I don’t. I can get really irritated when I need to repeat myself to people who aren’t paying attention or being present. I can feel bitingly sarcastic when someone breaches a direct request I’ve made. I never said I was perfect 😉

Meanwhile, I felt like crap noticing all the places where my heart shuts down. The guilt and brow-beating of my Inner Spiritual Perfectionist was deafening, preventing me from moving forward into growth. I found respite in a bit of self-acceptance, realizing that I am a multidimensional person in a universe made up of many frequencies – therefore I too am made of many frequencies, including ones I sometimes grieve.

This helped me move from guilt back to pure self-observation.

Then I was able to return to noticing where I don’t Love, namely, moments where I felt bitterness toward people. After doing some deep work (thank you for holding the container, Rumi), I discovered that my bitterness is my inner little girl who just wants to play in relaxed, open, heart-connected ways.

I realized that some of my pain about humanity is the pain of the gap between what life-serving and heart-connected interactions could look like, and what interactions typically look like.

Here’s an example. One day I was walking my dog. There’s a leash law on my block. I don’t walk Molly on a leash because she is supremely obedient (verbal leash) and she needs the free-running time (which I only permit when others are not nearby). This is the life-connected way we live; this is what serves the life in her. I ache for space to live in a way that is connected to the heart of who I am, not under the tyranny of some obligation that speculates and fears and defends against the worst without connecting to the reality of me.

Well one day a woman walking about 5 yards away from me shouted, “You should have your dog on a leash.” I felt angry. She doesn’t know me, she doesn’t know Molly. But I understood the justification of her comment.

Meanwhile, her comment to me was neither heart-connected, nor was she heart-connected to me or to Molly. I’m convinced that if she knew either of us, she would have treated the moment differently.

In Spiral Dynamics terms, this was a vMeme gap experience. A woman demanding compliance with rules (blue vMeme) was talking to someone with a history in recognizing and honoring diversity (green vMeme). In my ideal world, we would all be Second Tier and would find life-connected ways to attend to her need for safety while also attending to Molly’s needs for what is life-serving to her. But we don’t live in that world.

Yet.

Meanwhile, many of us live continual experiences of the gap between what our heart and bodies know, and what the world around us habitually embodies.

So it turned out that my practice for today was about looking into my irritations with people. In doing so, I discovered how much of my frustration with humanity has to do with simple gap experiences.

I felt even more peace and relief when I acknowledged how deeply I feel a sensibility that is very different from the habits of the world we live in. For example, I want to live heart-connected in ways that serve life, not parallel lives of autonomy that says, “It’s not my problem,” and serves some at the expense of others.

I see our world growing, changing, reaching ever more toward the Light. Meanwhile, in favor of my own growth toward the Light, I realized that I have a stack of unresolved pains, moment after moment of tiny little heartbreaks that – all piled together – can leave me feeling bitter and irritated toward people. I realize that it’s my job to attend to the healing of that stack. And I realize that while I am doing this healing, my job is to choose environments more likely to more often match my sensibility instead of continually re-irritating my pain of gap experiences. Gee, maybe my continual choice into cities and suburbs isn’t the best match for my sensibilities.

Ultimately I want to be able to live with (even high-threshholds of) gap experience and still have my peace. But for now, I’ll work on attending to my heart and see how quickly I can reduce my swollen stack.

I’m confident that this will help me regain even more of my Light and Love’s pure expression.

Today's Practice – Loving as Light Loves

Well sometime recently, during a sit, I heard an instruction to live my ‘prayer’ more publicly, less privately. I committed to this, seeing light in the process of me-getting-out-of-my-cave, but I wasn’t sure how, exactly, to fulfill on the commitment.

Then yesterday this occurred to me, “Just share, transparently, what moves me today, what practice I’m holding for the day, as it moves me.” For me, this is a shift from ‘constructing’ or ‘structuring’ practices, to actually just living my day-to-day and what moves me, but living it more out loud.

So that was yesterday. And of course in line with this, I would like to share yesterday’s practice with you, then share with you my practice for today.

Yesterday I was so saturated from the remarkable experience Rumi and I had a few days ago (and the flood of sacred geometry I continue to see as I close my eyes), that I needed to “exhale”, so to speak. My head felt like it was going to explode. I needed to defrag my brain somehow.

So yesterday my practice was about emptying, ex-forming (expressing outward the coherences I’d gained while getting in-formed), and – well – doing nothing. It was an exercise in experiencing my answer (for now) to the question, “What is it for me to fully and completely exhale, mind, body, soul?” I intuited that with this exhale, I could then be more available for the next inhale.

So exhale I did. I napped, and slept so deeply. I called Rumi and ex-formed topics alive in me. I let go of my diet structures and ate what I wanted when I wanted.

Of course the need to exhale shifted, albeit a bit sooner than I expected. About half way through my day the Muse was back up in me, and I read a 160-page PDF about sacred geometry experiments called “Shape Power” by Dan A. Davidson (I wonder if we are related!). More in-formation.

That was yesterday’s exploration.

Today –

Today I woke from a dream where Rumi was saying, “You don’t really care-for anything, do you?” I woke feeling the defensiveness I felt in the dream, wanting to be seen for my love, wanting to trace the list of times I have cared-for his plants, Molly, him… But the more awake I felt, the more I noticed the defensiveness in me. Red flag. What was giving rise to this? If I’m feeling defensive, there must be some grain of truth in the dream that I’m not pleased about (about myself).

I wondered, “Don’t I love?” I explored how love loves (ha! typo) how love lives through me. And I could feel ways my heart is, and has been, closed. Armored.

How does love live through me? I’m not talking the love that is gratitude, or cherishing, or even reverence or appreciation. I can feel all those vividly. In these ways, I have loved abundantly.

I’m also not talking about the love of, “Love thy neighbor”, the compassion that arises in me when I open my heart to the underlying core values and needs behind others’ actions. I have lived this practice for ten years now. I don’t doubt my ability to experience compassion (when I actually open my heart, not just when I mentally ‘get’ their values and needs).

But that isn’t the kind of love I mean either.

Rather, I’m talking about Loving as God Loves, as Source (Ain) and Original Light (Ain Soph Aur) Loves. I’m talking about the kind of Love that Jesus experienced, the kind of expression and experiencing of Love that could instantly heal others within his field. What is it to live that kind of Love?

My body has not ‘known’ that way of loving. Maybe I’ve had glimpses of it, fleeting moments. Maybe. But what is it like to live it?

So today, so far, I’ve been grieving and doing release work for the ways Love has not lived through me. I’ve been grieving the places where my disappointments with other(s) have molded inside me into a guarded, distrusting armor around my Sacred Heart.

And now my Sacred Heart wants out.

So this is my practice for today.

What does it feel like to Love as God Loves, as Light Loves?


Thank you Love!

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