My practice today is rooted in a body experience of feeling, clearly, “There’s nothing to forgive.”
The first time I had this experience was related to my mother. As a child I suffered a great deal of child abuse. As protective services tried to attend to me I lived in a total of three foster homes.
One day in my twenties my mother called me, saying, “I think you have never forgiven me.” I had long ago given up any “making wrong” of my mother; she was a product of her family, a product of her developmental lines, and a product of the cards dealt to her by Life. I recognized the places where she literally couldn’t help but be the person she was. I also saw the deep guilt she carried for not feeling her own power to be more at choice in her behavior. As I said to her, “Mom, there’s nothing to forgive,” she let out a huge sigh of relief.
I think my mother still grapples with her own guilt, the product of unreleased grief for years and years of actions that met certain of her needs but not others.
But when I, as an individual, am grieving my own pain and losses, so much so that there’s no more hurt, no more anger, no feeling of retribution and no losses left to need restoring, then I hold no residue for what happened, and I no longer participate in a perpetuation of blame, shame and guilt.
Yesterday I was listening to a CD from thetemplate.org, who offer ceremonies for conscious human evolution. One of the foundational ceremonies is about forgiveness. And again I heard this phrase, “There is nothing to forgive.”
So as my practice I took on this inquiry: How is it true that there is nothing to forgive? I especially wanted to apply my answers to any remaining residue or pain I still carry.
Below, you’ll see the list I came up with of why, in fact, There’s Nothing To Forgive. If you have additional items to add, please do! I’ll look forward to your comments below.
However what I ultimately realized after writing this list is that the only way my body can experience the truth of “There Is Nothing To Forgive” is after I have completed my release work for my hurts, pains and losses. (You can find free articles I wrote about release work both here on my blog and also free on ThriveDrive.com ).
When my body still experiences unresolved pain, hurt, or losses, I don’t feel forgiveness, I feel heavy-hearted at best or judgmental and angry at worst. My judgments and anger are my keys to finding and the resolving places in my heart where I have not yet completed my release work.
So with this I offer you my love and prayer for peace on Earth, and in each one of us, in the form of the felt sense of forgiveness, “There Is Nothing To Forgive.”
1. They did the best they could, given what they were given, taught, and habituated to. Given their vMeme development levels and levels of development on their lines of development, they could not have behaved any other way.
2. All actions – even those I don’t like – are rooted in attempts to meet underlying universal needs. My job is to attend to my pain and losses (including making restorative requests), and to be able to inquire into the underlying universal needs trying to be fed. There too am I.
3. Given our genetic modifications, the still-in-progress reclamation of fully-operating gene sequences in our DNA, it makes absolute sense that they/we/human beings have done what we have done.
4. In Great Order, all emergent properties are of learning, growing, and Experiencing (including mistakes and tragedies). Just like a child tripping while learning to walk, or a curious infant breaking toys while learning how to interact with the environment, all of human history (all of my history) moments are perfect puzzle pieces in the larger Tapestry.
5. In the inter-connected, re-cycled, holographic, reincarnating Uni-verse, There Too Am I – learning, Experiencing, and making innocent mistakes, some even consciously, as a young Soul.
6. My need for healing and release-work to care for my pains, so that I may name and feed my needs, does not make Human Evolution Mistakes anything more or anything less than, “Young”.
With this I offer a prayer for release.