Current Puppetry

For what it’s worth, and with great vulnerability, here’s a node of my current bodymind puppetry.  I’m posting this as a fishing expedition, because I’m feeling quite truly at my wits’ end.  What do you think?  Email me privately please.  Mayagayam at gmail.

Once upon a time, the strategy was to land myself within a “co-created community of gnostic / priesty peers” – and if I couldn’t find it I tried to create it around me. But travelling the world I didn’t find it; my current energy levels limit most travel. Then I learned that to make community is too slow and too much wrestling – far more work than I want to manage, and takes far more directing / driving than I enjoy.

What was that strategy attempting to feed, anyway? This question brings me to this –

I am still dealing with this existential crisis – what do I do with the body to:
– care for my needs for belonging
– care for my needs for purpose (which would give me clarity and direction)
– provide for my needs for care, comfort and security for the body
– care for my needs for touch, sexual expression, and companionship
– care for my needs for community where I feel seen and wanted, met and appreciated, loved and desired
– care for my need to exercise the feminine and the capacities and the mystic and the I Am of me, in tandem with the body
– care for my needs for engagement and joy in my gnostic-heartful-sexy-playful-intelligent-tipheret ways and beyond
– all within a context of fluidity, ease, restfulness, balance and in integrity with myself
?

The answer to this would answer other questions like, “what do I choose relative to the other puppets I meet along the way?”

?

And, I’m aware that this is all fundamentally nothing more than puppet talk. I remember the conversation asking me to come here.  Who sent me here to begin with and why?

— update, end of March —

Well in the absence of human response to this post, nonetheless the Guardians Guide.  I find the answer is in the question itself.  I read “Dragon’s Play” section 9, and I feel mySelf again.  Thank you all for reading.

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1 Response to “Current Puppetry”


  1. 1 Thia Beach March 20, 2016 at 12:23 am

    Oh, I resemble this post.
    There are several answers to guide you on this journey.
    I would use Byron Katie’s 4 questions on each one.
    Then check with your gut.
    Then don’t quit till you find what your looking for.
    I am still trying all kinds of roads that my gut tells me to travel. Still have not quite found what is best.
    Wishing you joy on your journey


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