Archive for the 'Inspired Living' Category

Sorting Out Political Correctness

I was recently asked to watch a video debating the subject of political correctness.

This is my reply.

Thank you for this link, Dick. (I am not name calling, that is his actual name.)

Since you asked me to look at this, I would love to address two points about it: one being the failure of debate and the other being the failure of the label of “political correctness”.

The Failure of Debate

When we argue a subject cognitively, theoretically, based on beliefs and positions, it can be extremely difficult to generate win-win solutions because the goal of debate isn’t to build bridges between values.

In debate, the goal is to win, to prove my point is more valuable than yours. It’s a win-lose game.

Debate disconnects us from our hearts and bodies and actions. And it disconnects us from each other.

Moreover, debate fails because it addresses a global category, a concept, instead of addressing a person or behavior. One cannot eat an elephant all at once, one can only digest it one bite at a time.

Values, not Labels

Debating the concept of “political correctness” underscores the underlying problem with political correctness: the concept is (as best as I can tell) almost always disconnected from the core values. The phrase “political correctness” is a label that does not specify what specifically we actually want.

What core values are we standing up for when we ask someone not to use the word nigger? Respect. Are there are situations where human beings have used that word in loving, respectful ways toward each other? Yes. So the issue is not about the word, because those who choose disdain will likely continue to treat others with distain even while they stop using the word. Addressing the word use is not helpful if we continue to ignore the underlying inflammation behind the distain.

Demands and arguments for political correctness fail because we debate the surface semantics instead of addressing the underlying core values.

Instead, I wish people would address the subject one bite at a time like this:

“Sir, I am sure you don’t mean any disrespect, but when you call me honey, I don’t experience respect. I’d like it better if you save pet names for if and when we are in a mutual, intimate relationship, please. Thank you.”

This speaks to the core values – respect, mutuality, authentic intimacy.

Here’s another option:

“I imagine you did not mean to insult me just now. Did you?”

By asking an individual to take a specific look at their specific behavior, we call them into personal responsibility.

Here’s another:

“Interesting. Why would you call me that/do that/say that?”

With an eye to core values, we can build bridges. We communicate, rather than punish. We open doors to win-win solutions instead of perpetuating polarized antagonism.

With values-based awareness, we stand, solidly, for the power of educating core values and empowering generative requests instead of the weak expressions of distain like namecalling, ridicule or belittling, “retard, fag, grab her pussy”.

(Generative requests are requests that generate win-win solutions. They resolve.)

Over time, if a person persists in distain or is unwilling to integrate requests, then you can choose to upgrade to a more direct heart-to-heart about why, or address needs for support that lead to their anger, or use the law of 2 feet and chose somewhere else. I believe that addressing pain, hate and anger would be far more effective than allowing our pained, disenfranchised neighbors to continue escalating from “politically incorrect” behavior to mass shootings.

Not all words are the problem they are made out to be. Sometimes people hear attack when there is none. Sometimes people treat others with distain even without words. Demanding “nice words” veils authenticity, obscures personal accountability and generates resentment by suppressing the issue instead of caringly resolving it.

If we want to see a company hire as many women as men, that is a measurable, specific, doable request. The categorical broad brush stroke called ”be politically correct” is not a specific, doable action that includes the other person’s values.

Some people are not willing to be sincere, and have deep rooted reasons for distain. We cannot address the underlying innocence without presence, care and dialogue.

By addressing the core values and making doable win-win requests, we can digest the subject one action at a time. We invite dialogue. We build bridges. We create deep resolution, not bandaids.

If the hope is to resolve culture wars, I don’t see us bridging this, or any other differences, unless we learn win-win resolutions based in core values and doable requests.

The title of this post is based on my 5-step win-win problem-solving tool called, “SORTTing It Out” (yes, 2 Ts).

If anyone reading this would like coaching to support more “political correctness“ in your life, work or community,  or to learn more about SORTTing It Out, you can contact me, or subscribe to my free newsletter for more details:
27 Tips For Sanity – https://TipsForSanity.com/subscribe

Quora Self-Care

I recently posted this answer on Quora.

This recipe rescued me from debilitating issues that kept me bedridden for the better part of 4years between 2012 and 2016.  My big turnaround came from protocol I built after years of research and study.

I hope you’ll gain as much benefit from it as I have throughout my life.

With blessings,

Maya

Q: How do I get rid of the shakes?

A:

1. Find out the cause. Do you drink coffee or alcohol take cocaine or other drugs? Do you eat 3 properly balanced meals a day (low blood sugar can make you shake)? Have you been in some accident or other physical trauma? Is the trigger emotional, biochemical, environmental, etc? Have you done comprehensive blood work including a nutritional panel and find out what deficiencies may be contributing to issues? Do you have habits of thought that contribute to tension, anxiety or panic? Have you seen an endocrinologist and/or a neurologist? Do you maintain proper electrolyte and water balance in your system? You may have to uncover multiple contributing factors before you can resolve your issue.

2. Give your system the support it needs. If the cause is psychological, get the psychological and emotional support you need (ex: an experienced counselor like me, or a licensed therapist). If the cause is physical, get a functional medicine doctor or nutritional counselor or some other professional who can help you track, repair and eliminate deficiencies. Do you test positive for MTHFR? Do you have heavy metal overload? Do you have fungal or other infections? Do you take probiotics for a healthy gut? You may have to heal multiple systems to resolve your issue.

3. Exercise. If you have an extraordinarily advanced, zen psychology and your blood work shows no deficiencies (practically impossible – most Americans are deficient in zinc, magnesium, iodine, vitamin K, choline and other essential nutrients), then you may need to try yoga or other meditative practices, along with other forms of exercise, that entrain your electrical system to calm, balance, strength, flexibility and endurance. Insufficient exercise can be a contributing factor.

Just like a luxury performance car, human beings are multi-faceted creatures with many systems. If you want your body to work better, you and your system support structures need to get better. In my work, we explore 10 aspects of the human system, all needing to work well together if you want to avoid and resolve problems.

If you’d like to learn more, or if you’d like a free consultation toward an ongoing coaching relationship, you can contact me at info at tipsforsanity dot com.

Good luck!

Easy Pop Tarts – GF non-GMO

Personally, I dread cooking. But I love pop tarts, and I don’t love store-bought products’ added soy, sugars, corn, etc… that’s how this post happened. I’m so delighted about how this experiment worked out.

If you are like me, and you like to eat gluten-free but don’t like the rice fillers, I hope you will enjoy this recipe.

Easy Pop Tarts / Folded Pastries

Makes 4-6 pastries.

1/4 cup organic sorghum flour
1/8 cup gluten-free oat flour
1/8 cup organic buckwheat flour
1/8 cup potato starch or green bean starch
1/8 cup tapioca starch
1/8 cup arrowroot flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder ( I make my own without cornstarch)
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp xanthan gum or 1 egg or 1 Tbsp ground flax seed
1 Tbsp sweetener (ex: coconut sugar or jaggery or brown sugar) – omit for more savory pastries
1/2 cup frozen butter-flavored shortening (I use Nutiva’s version)
4oz organic apple sauce

Also, have your flavoring/filling* on hand, 1/2 – 1 Tbsp for each pop tart.

Preheat oven to  400°F.

In a bowl, blend all dry ingredients together well.

Cut in shortening with pastry cutter until well blended.

With a large fork, mix in applesauce and dribbles of water (a tablespoon or so at a time as needed) to form dough. Try not to handle the dough too much.

Between sheets of plastic wrap, roll out dough to a rectangular sheet a little less than a quarter inch thick.

Remove top plastic wrap. With a fork, carve lines in the pastry to make long rectangles (ex: 3″x7″).

Spread 1/2-1 Tbsp of filling*  on the bottom half of each rectangle, leaving a quarter inch bare margin around the edges. Fold the top half of the long rectangles down over the flavored half to form a small pastry. Press the open edges together with fingers or with a fork. (Seal the edges with water if you want. I didn’t and the pastries were fine.)

Lay each pastry on a parchment paper-lined cookie sheet. Poke each pastry with a fork three or four times to make vent holes in the tops.

Bake at 400-425°F for 20-25 minutes. Allow to cool on the counter for 10 minutes before eating.

*My favorite filling is raspberry jam, but other options include brown sugar and cinnamon, or chocolate, or other flavored jams.  You could also use sliced ham and cheese in the middle if you wanted, or other fillings.  These can also be glazed, but I prefer them without glaze.

Please tell me if you make modifications to the recipe that you like. I love new delicious ideas.

Enjoy!

 

 

Grow And Diffuse

I had a dream – it was Post Apocalypse. Few of us were left. People were talking about preventing starvation by gathering supplies from what was left. I told them that gathering remnant supplies was insufficient, soon we will run out of supplies to gather. We need to think about replenishing supplies. We need to plan to grow sufficient crops to feed our people, repicably, year after year.

But then it became clear that no one in our group knows how to grow food. I tell them life is resilient. I tell them we need to find seeds and plant them. I tell them we need to find food already growing in the earth. Finally everyone is on board, and the group disperses.

Then I was walking the perimeter of our camp, and I found explosive charges in the ground. Some were inert, already detonated, but some were still live charges. Very dangerous, these could kill people. I set about attempting to safely detonate the charges, one by one. It occurred to me that while human beings exist, there will always be someone making bombs, planting charges, that could explode in dangerous moments. Growing food is not enough. There also needs to be a cultural process for defusing charges before people get violent or get killed. Both are necessary in order to sustain a healthy population.

(Charges does not only refer to physical explosive devices. The word “charge” is also used to describe emotional states, as in, “It’s an emotionally charged subject.” The dream clearly points to addressing the aspect of human nature that innocently (and sometimes not so innocently) generates charges against other, charged subjects and charged situations.

At the end of the dream, someone else joined me. I was asked why I was doing this, if most vital thing to do now is to grow food. I replied, “what is the value of sustaining our population if we wind up getting our legs blown off by live charges anyway?” I explained that this function (diffusing the charges) is also necessary if we don’t want to blow ourselves up just walking around in our day-to-day life. I said that if there is no process among our individuals to diffuse charges, soon there are no safe places to walk without getting blown up.

I then taught the other how to safely diffuse the charges with me, and the two of us set about to our work.

Incidentally, I believe the best practice here is culturally practiced needs-conscious empathy for self, needs-consciousness empathy for other, and mediation based in needs consciousness and restorative justice.

Foodies! Gluten-Free StoveTop FlatBreads

So if you’re going gluten-free like I am (or mostly, anyway), then you may like this.

I found a base for stove-top flatbreads and pancakes that I’m now making almost daily.  They whip up in 5 min each side. They also help support metabolic stability by including proper nutrient-dense fat-fiber-salt-protein balance and resistant starches.  I Love that finally I have a GF bread-pancake-cookie base that keeps my blood sugar steady.

Hope you find this useful!

Sharing my joy and love ❤

M

Gluten-Free Flat Bread Combos

Base – 50-50% dry to wet batter
Wet = full-cream coconut milk (canned, not the liquidy boxed stuff – BPA-free cans)
Dry = flour of choice (see options I’ve tested and love, below)

These can be made savory or sweet. For savory, add spices or garlic with salt. For sweet, add vanilla extract and cinnamon and maple syrup or raw honey or eurithritol. They can also be made more spongey by adding binder (ex: egg or xanthan gum or flax-seed-hot-water binder).

Just maintain the 50-50 ratio. Ex: If you add in an egg or maple syrup, be sure to add in the same amount of whatever dry ingredient you used.

DIRECTIONS: Mix batter (see options below). Pour a thin pancake into a hot ghee-buttered ceramic/nonstick pan, cook approx 5min each side on medium to medium-high heat on the stovetop (cook until both sides are dry and center is almost or fully cooked through).

BATTER OPTIONS:

TEFF Flat Bread 50/50
1 part Teff flour (available at Ethiopian places or online)
1 part coconut milk
salt

ARROWROOT Flat Bread 50/50

1 part arrowroot
1/2 part hemp seeds
1/4 part chia seeds
1/4 part coconut flour
2 parts full fat coconut milk
salt

BUCKWHEAT Flat Bread 50/50

1 part ground whole buckwheat grouts
1 part full fat coconut milk
salt

KUDZU MAKA Flat Brad 50/50

1 part ground whole Buckwheat grouts
1 part ground flax seeds
1/2 part ground kudzu root
1/2 part ground black rice
1/4 part maca root flour
1/4 part coconut flour
3 1/2 parts full fat coconut milk
salt

 

True Definition of Compersion – A Rant

In 2005 I was invited to speak at a polyamory conference.  I was new to the whole concept of ethical non-monogamy, and at that conference I learned and experienced this definition for this word:

Compersion – the joy one feels from witnessing another’s joy.

This moved me so deeply.  We see compersion on children when one kid smiles radiantly while witnessing another kid’s joyful play and fun.  I enjoyed compersion routinely as a coach, when I saw clients go from a place of struggle to a place of freedom – I felt profound joy when I saw them experiencing the joy of their newly discovered freedom.

I thought, “Ohhhhhh…Thank Goodness…the world is learning to tap into a more abundant source of our shared joy and delight…”  I had hope that this word would influence the mainstream and help awaken all of humanity to more of our Divine Hearts, our Christ Consciousness, our Spiritual Essences having a Human Awakening.

But somehow, in the last 10 years, the definition of Compersion on the Internet has become sexualized, twisted, and impacted by flagrant reductionism.

Now when I search for “define compersion” – I get these kinds of definitions:

– The joy a lover feels when his lover is having sex with another.

– A feeling of joy when a loved one invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship.

– The feeling of joy associated with seeing a loved one love another; contrasted with jealousy.

Wikipedia, For Cripe Sake, in its most brilliant coup of massive irresponsibility that I’ve seen yet, redirects “compersion” to “polyamory”, as if one was synonymous with the other!  JEEZ.

Compersion, people, has Nothing To Do with Sex.  It also has Nothing to do with Polyamory, Jealousy or Relationships.  The term “compersion” came alive in common use in poly circles because people who Love Joy – Feel Compersion – Often.  But that doesn’t make Compersion any more about polyamory than using the word “computer”, which poly folk also use often.

Compersion is about face of Appreciation – anyone who has the capacity to open their heart to appreciate the joy of another human being is capable of experiencing compersion.

One might be standing on a corner, see a total stranger across the street dancing in great joy (see also, Ellen Dance Dares) – and feel compersion – the joy of witnessing the other person’s joy.

One might be babysitting a toddler, see the toddler squeal in happiness over a toy, and feel compersion – the joy of witnessing the toddler’s joy.

One might be with a sibling, talking about his or her passion for photography, and feel compersion – experiencing joy for the sibling’s joy.

“I’m so moved and happy that you’re so happy.”  When this statement is true, it’s a reflection of Compersion.

Yes, it’s true that folks who are living responsible committed plural relationships experience compersion about their Beloveds’ joys – but any monogamous person with emotional maturity will also Experience Joy when their Loved Ones Have Joy.

Compersion can happen in sexual and plural-relationship environments, but Not Only in sexual and plural relationship environments.

So please, folks, let’s stop reducing life and joy to The Sexing and let’s remember the full breadth of our Divine Nature to Appreciate and Love, please?

Compersion – The feeling of profound Joy one experiences while experiencing another human being in Joy.

I hope for all of us to experience more Compersion, Every Day.

Signed,

The Indignant Face of Love

 

 

Alternative to “Bad Shadow Government Illuminati” Narrative

I have lots of friends campaigning against “shadow government” or against “the Illuminati” or against “the reptilians” or “the bankers” or “the powers that be”.

I am very educated to these narratives. I get it. And –

I would like to propose a more generative perspective.

After human beings were created, a point came where we were provided the space to be “self-governing” (self, meaning, “the local human population governing itself”).

Of course, at that time not all individuals were prepared – or psychologically equipped – for this task. Some people have longer cognitive lines than others. Some people have more agentic inclinations than others. So, necessarily, a small number of the “locals” took control, and started a not-so-complex chess game of politics, governing behind the scenes, currency and currency manipulations, etc… The masses, for centuries, have been the pieces on this chess board, moved by debt obligations, moved by fear and threats, moved by political maneuvering and moved by spin.

However, necessarily, we are now reaching a time in human history and human development where more and more of the chess pieces (the humans on the planet) are waking up, seeing the larger context of the chess board, and saying, “Wait a minute Chess Players – You’re not the boss of me!” More and more of us are growing up and emotionally maturing enough to learn that we (the masses) can govern ourselves.

As a human race, true “self governance” is not about a small group controlling the rest. True “self governance” is about each one of us, each individual, waking up to be able to govern ourselves.

Part of that is learning how to do “power with” instead of “power over”. The chess players did “power over” the rest. The people collaborating in open-source projects, collaborating on the Internet, and collaborating on crowd-sourcing, community resiliency, restorative justice and permaculture are all people embodying their learning how to do “power with”.

People doing “power with” realize that we are interconnected, and only going to thrive when we work together with each other and with the system as a whole. People who do “power over” think of themselves as separate, and everyone else and everything else as Enemy to be conquered and controlled.

History is teaching us that Power Over is a tragic strategy that falls apart in the long run. Power With allows us to adaptively generate solution on-the-fly – dynamic steering.

While we embody “us/them” villanization – when we push against a government figure, or a batch of “Illuminati”, or against a batch of “reptilians”, we continue to perpetuate the pawn mentality by playing into the victim triangle. The oppressed rise to become the new oppressors.

Only when we stand in our own sovereignty – and educate ourselves – can we evolve to our fullest capacity and our birth right – fully actualizing our capacities.

Standing in our sovereignty, for me, isn’t about pushing against the old structures. For me, the sovereign is visibile in us when we come together to create new systems that render the old systems obsolete – effortlessly and naturally.

So while I appreciate the attempt to “educate” that innocently moves people to villanize our government or our history or our shadow government or our ancient ancestors, I don’t subscribe to the villanizing, us/them behaviors.

I want to live more emotionally mature, more grown-up, and more productive than that.

Rather, I recognize that we are capable of waking each other up to our true capacities by moving forward into new structures.

That is who I am. I am a culture creator. I am a stand for the new structures. I am a creative being interested in contributing to the new systems (which will naturally and effortlessly obsolete the old).

So I propose that we put our energies into the Now and the Future and create the self-governing, system-awake, wholistic structures and environments that we want. This is a far, far more productive use of our energies than rehearsing the hatred of the old systems we are pushing against.

In hopes of inspiring your generative action to create forward,
Maya

 


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