Archive for the 'Personal' Category

Grow And Diffuse

I had a dream – it was Post Apocalypse. Few of us were left. People were talking about preventing starvation by gathering supplies from what was left. I told them that gathering remnant supplies was insufficient, soon we will run out of supplies to gather. We need to think about replenishing supplies. We need to plan to grow sufficient crops to feed our people, repicably, year after year.

But then it became clear that no one in our group knows how to grow food. I tell them life is resilient. I tell them we need to find seeds and plant them. I tell them we need to find food already growing in the earth. Finally everyone is on board, and the group disperses.

Then I was walking the perimeter of our camp, and I found explosive charges in the ground. Some were inert, already detonated, but some were still live charges. Very dangerous, these could kill people. I set about attempting to safely detonate the charges, one by one. It occurred to me that while human beings exist, there will always be someone making bombs, planting charges, that could explode in dangerous moments. Growing food is not enough. There also needs to be a cultural process for defusing charges before people get violent or get killed. Both are necessary in order to sustain a healthy population.

(Charges does not only refer to physical explosive devices. The word “charge” is also used to describe emotional states, as in, “It’s an emotionally charged subject.” The dream clearly points to addressing the aspect of human nature that innocently (and sometimes not so innocently) generates charges against other, charged subjects and charged situations.

At the end of the dream, someone else joined me. I was asked why I was doing this, if most vital thing to do now is to grow food. I replied, “what is the value of sustaining our population if we wind up getting our legs blown off by live charges anyway?” I explained that this function (diffusing the charges) is also necessary if we don’t want to blow ourselves up just walking around in our day-to-day life. I said that if there is no process among our individuals to diffuse charges, soon there are no safe places to walk without getting blown up.

I then taught the other how to safely diffuse the charges with me, and the two of us set about to our work.

Incidentally, I believe the best practice here is culturally practiced needs-conscious empathy for self, needs-consciousness empathy for other, and mediation based in needs consciousness and restorative justice.

Advertisements

The Fourth Eye 4th Eye Forth I

I may add to this post later.

From here, from The Fourth Eye:

  • Eye appreciates the value of things and people, even if I don’t personally like them
  • Eye integrates values.
  • Eye experiences paradoxes abundant.  Ouroboros.  To bend spacetime and matter, integrate apparent opposites.  Integrate opposites and magic appears.
  • Eye am not the Identity, It is a mechanical, cymatic whirlpool on the face of Omnipresent undulating Ocean, a more or less muddy puppet window through which The Light may shine more or less directly.
  • Eye perceives – It’s All A Lie.  And It’s All True.  It’s All Good.  It’s All Horrific. All of reality is both, only the locals can’t see both.  Eye is not only local.
  • Eye sees from the personal puppet coherence, eye also sees the Fabric of Great Order – the repetition of universal patterns, the creation then tension then resolution of Nature’s rhythmic beat.
  • Eye perceives the holographic universe, turtles all the way up and down. As above, so below.  Eye perceives the face of The Divine in each Whirlpool chanting the song of Source.
  • Eye then also senses local cymatic coherence (whirlpool) in the ever-undulating Ocean of The Fabric of Nature.
  • Eye gets Eye is of Nature. Eye is also Nature, just as Whirpool in the ocean remains, nonetheless, Ocean.  The dance of Yin Yang is local I and Whirlpool Eye and Ocean Eye.
  • Eye feels awe, daily, frequently each day.  Eye also grieves and mourns.
  • Eye has no objection to the darkness, even when I don’t like it. It Is. Eye dances in the rain, and enjoys when I’m pissed about raining.
  • Eye finds happy by being happy. Eye is a raindancer.
  • Seeing the fullness, Eye experiences distance.  Eye don’t care, It All Just Is. And it’s beautiful. And it’s tragic and disgusting. It All Just Is. What precious triviality. What enormous fullness in the absolutely minuscule of being.
  • Eye hears, and communicates, in plural parallel meaning.
  • Eye believes in Nothing.
  • Eye urges to Nature (yes, the verb).  As Nature.
  • Eye generates. Eye allows necrotic flesh to atrophy.  Eye destroys only if it’s ecstatically essence-ial and accurate, but not as a generative act.
  • Eye tingles at the language of the wind, hears the whispers of the mountain and tree, tastes the music of time’s orchestra. As with all of Nature, Time too is alive.
  • Eye bends the spacetime Matrix this way: to be there, Be There. 5D to 4D to 3D, Nature Rises. Abrahadabra. I feelthink therefore I Am. The science of deliberate creation. Travel remote viewing. The ouroboros. Integrate polarities until the paradox appears and viola, the door opens.
  • When am I not myself.  Eye forgets to remember.

ouroboros-dragon-serpent-snake-symbol

Delta Δ

When am I not myself?

I am now not that I was

Brief Update

In December, a 2″ mass was removed from my abdomen (benign). This month, I’m back to playing 1.5 hrs tennis – two to three times a week. Wow. Thank you Vitality Back! Anyone wanna come hit balls with me?

Blog Re-Org

— Update — Done! —

Hi, so you want to find something I wrote?

As of today (October 13), I’m reorganizing my nearly 10 years of posts (holy cats, has it really been that long? ugh.)

Give me a few days. I’ll get it done.

— Update — Done! —

Hugs to you,
Maya

Current Puppetry

For what it’s worth, and with great vulnerability, here’s a node of my current bodymind puppetry.  I’m posting this as a fishing expedition, because I’m feeling quite truly at my wits’ end.  What do you think?  Email me privately please.  Mayagayam at gmail.

Once upon a time, the strategy was to land myself within a “co-created community of gnostic / priesty peers” – and if I couldn’t find it I tried to create it around me. But travelling the world I didn’t find it; my current energy levels limit most travel. Then I learned that to make community is too slow and too much wrestling – far more work than I want to manage, and takes far more directing / driving than I enjoy.

What was that strategy attempting to feed, anyway? This question brings me to this –

I am still dealing with this existential crisis – what do I do with the body to:
– care for my needs for belonging
– care for my needs for purpose (which would give me clarity and direction)
– provide for my needs for care, comfort and security for the body
– care for my needs for touch, sexual expression, and companionship
– care for my needs for community where I feel seen and wanted, met and appreciated, loved and desired
– care for my need to exercise the feminine and the capacities and the mystic and the I Am of me, in tandem with the body
– care for my needs for engagement and joy in my gnostic-heartful-sexy-playful-intelligent-tipheret ways and beyond
– all within a context of fluidity, ease, restfulness, balance and in integrity with myself
?

The answer to this would answer other questions like, “what do I choose relative to the other puppets I meet along the way?”

?

And, I’m aware that this is all fundamentally nothing more than puppet talk. I remember the conversation asking me to come here.  Who sent me here to begin with and why?

— update, end of March —

Well in the absence of human response to this post, nonetheless the Guardians Guide.  I find the answer is in the question itself.  I read “Dragon’s Play” section 9, and I feel mySelf again.  Thank you all for reading.

Oh Rocky!

I’ve just seen Tim Curry in Rocky Horror for the first time, and spent days basking in the companionship of the Gnostic, Kabbalistic, Hermetic esoteric message. I too remember doing the time warp into this rocky horror science fiction show for the thrills! And just recently, after years of wanting to return to the Trans-sexual, I saw blue skies through my tears, and decided I might actually like to stay. If you experienced this transmission from the movie too, let’s talk!


Thank you Love!

Thank you to the friends who help keep my content flowing. To share your love with me, please Click Here to Donate. Thank you <3

Quick Browse

RSS Quote of the Day

November 2017
M T W T F S S
« Aug    
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  

RSS My Recent Twitters

  • An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.

All Entries Copyright (c) 2007-2014 Gail Taylor. All Rights Reserved.