Posts Tagged 'On Love'

10 Areas for Holistic Life Improvement

Today I answered a question from someone about Homeopathy and Holistic Living.

Then it occurred to me that this may help someone else too.

So I share my reply with you.  I hope you find it helpful!

With loving blessings,


Well darling Finally here I am – ready to start to answer your question about Homeopathy.

Did you know that I’m trained 23+ years in Homeopathy, Holistic Healing and life improvement methods?

Part of what kept me from replying sooner, is that there’ are so many ways to get healing and relief that I didn’t know where to start for you!

So here’s a start. Tell me what you think and I’ll give you more as we talk over multiple emails. Ok?

Ok the first step is for you to understand more fully who you are. You, your life and your body are like a car – there are lots of systems. If you put gas in your car but ignore the tires, eventually they will fail.

You, your life and your body are the same way. You can “take something” homeopathic (a homeopathic remedy, for example). But if you ignore the other systems your life, situations won’t change. In fact they may even get worse.

So here are 10 areas for you to think about.

Each one is important. The best idea is to melt the ice cube from all sides, but you need to start somewhere.

Look over these 7 areas and then tell me what you think about my questions below.

1. Mind – if you want your life to change, your thoughts have to change. If you want things to get better, your mental habits have to get better. A great example of this is negative self-talk. “I’m worthless, things will never work out.” Many kinds of mental habits are unconsciously self-sabataging. There are many ways I can support you to improve your mental habits.

2. Body – We are chemical and electrical. If you want your mood to improve, correct nutrition and body care make a huge difference. Here’s an example. Did you know that some depression can be traced back to a Vitamin D deficiency? We get that from sunlight, but if we don’t get enough, we feel lethargic and sad. There are many nutrients that, if you’re deficient, will impact your energy, mood and attitude. Did you know that too much estrogen can make you moody and short tempered? There are many things I could tell you about homeopathic remedies for the physical body and how supplements can change your life.

3. Spirit – You are not just a personality. You are a divine spark of God’s light in a physical body. The more we human beings wake up to our transpersonal experience, the less we suffer. There is much I can share with you about exploring the experience of your spirituality and your transpersonal Self so that you suffer less.

4. Heart – Whatever pain is not resolved, recycles. “He did this to me, she did that to me.” All of those stories are pain that never got released, resolved and healed. I have spent much of my life doing release work and helping other people do releasework. Emotional stories that play over and over can be permanently resolved in 90 minutes or less.  Emotional triggers can be resolved in as little as 3 breaths.  On the other hand, it’s pretty hard to focus on our joy when we are carrying the weight of a lifetime of pain and frustration on our shoulders. The more you resolve and release, the freer you will be to find peace.

5. Gut – How good are you at replacing blame with non-violent expressions of your core values and needs? How good are you at making clear, doable requests to feed those needs? How good are you at feeding your own needs when others cannot? While name-calling, finger-pointing and blaming others can feel satisfying, it does not solve a thing. If you want to find more peace and joy in your life, it’s vital that you get better at naming your feelings, needs and requests to meet your needs.

6. Action – Nothing changes until you take personal responsibility for change and take action. How good are you at making measurable goals to have the kind of life you want? How good are you at finding multiple strategies to meet your needs and goals? How good are you at doing things to care for yourself instead of blaming others for your misery? There are many ways I help people learn how to coach themselves toward a better life.

7. Interaction and Your Environment – Here’s where other people and the greater world around you come into play. You told me you want to make choices in your environment to help you find peace. That’s great. When our relationships are dramatic, traumatic and full of upheaval, we feel unsettled, anxious and upset. Addressing relationship issues, resolving them or choosing out of them can often make or break your joy. Sometimes it’s best to fight for resolution. Sometimes it’s best to get out of pain’s way. But if you don’t resolve your environment issues, you will continue to find upheaval every day you spend with those situations.

8. Lower Self – What unconscious factors contribute to your unhappy experience?  What shadow work is begging to be done, revealing itself in the face of your frustrations and discontents?  What we resist, persists; by integrating shadow aspects we not only find increased peace with ourselves, we find increased peace, clarity, and right action with the world around us.  Each bit of shadow, ignored, saps a part of our energy.  By revealing and integrating the gift of the shadow, we reclaim psychological and physical resources we often never even imagine possible.

9. Middle Self – What narratives do you hold relative to reality?  Where are your circles of concern, and how do you relate to them?  To what degree do you experience the multi-dimensional being that you are?  While most of us are utterly preoccupied with work and survival, it can be difficult (if not impossible) to escape the hamster wheel of overwork, beta-brain monkey mind chatter, fear-focus and jitters that modern society tends to encourage.  Deepening your active attention to your multi-dimensional self can yield a gentler, simpler and more rewarding life experience.

10. Higher Self – Who are you, most deeply?  Who are you beyond this lifetime?  Even if you don’t believe in life-after-death or souls or reincarnation, nonetheless there is a part of your lifetime that effects the lives that will remain after you die.  Trash you throw away will sit in landfills for generations.  What aspects of your day-to-day practice reflect your experience of your Highest Self and the long-body of Human Being?  What day-to-day practices do you cultivate to connect to and hear your Highest Self and that Inner Guidance each of us has available to us?  What practices do you share in communion with others to cultivate and express the voice of Highest Self?  Exploring this area not only enriches our lives, it can help us find light in very dark moments.

You may or may not find the peace and relief you want by doing just one or two things in one or two areas. You may need to pay attention and attend to things in many areas of the system that you are.  You may even need a system overhaul, and that takes commitment. It’s not easy. And sometimes it can be horribly uncomfortable and downright painful, like trying to do a yoga stretch you’ve never done before. But I can tell you from personal experience, it’s worth it. At the other side you get to enjoy more peace, joy and more fulfillment than you ever imagined possible.

So now the question is:

What would you most like from me next?

I can work with you to cultivate and explore these 10 areas to help you find the life-changing results that you want.  Or you can choose to go somewhere else entirely.  You have all the choice in the world.

What would you most like next, love?


I Am

Our Human Destiny is to fulfill, “On Earth as it is in Heaven” – an expression of the Divine, consciously awake, here in physical forms. It is Love. This Love expresses as all colors and shades and flavors and paths. All of It is an expression of Divine Heart. All paths have core values they are yearning to Express and Experience. There are no “bad” or “wrong” core values, only things we like or don’t like. When we mourn the gap between what we like and don’t like, we have more room to see the value in things we previously didn’t like. Then we may attend to all core values in ways we DO like. This integration gives us a fuller and fuller expression of the true face of Love – a fuller and fuller Experiencing – more and more Heaven on Earth. It’s happening right now. Even on #OccupyWallStreet. Can you feel it?

Triad 3 – Strife and Loneliness

Here’s the 3rd part.

But I realize there’s a snippet missing – the one about “Love/Strife”.

Here’s a bit about it:

In the book Reality by Peter Kingsley, he talks about how history has been twisted by thousands of years of misinterpretation of our “philosophical fathers”, specifically, Parmenides.

For example, according to Peter Kingsley, Parmenides was misquoted to say “judge by reason”, when the original Greek, “krinai logoi”, logoi didn’t refer to reason, or thinking at all. Rather, says PK, if we take context and culture and meaning of the time this phrase was written, it was written by a man with a deep, intimate connection to the nature of “thumos”, meaning “the raw energy of life itself”….a man who actively practiced “incubation”, a practice of isolating oneself in total motionless stillness for days, a practice which would give rise to a silence in the mind, and open into an entire other state of awareness, called “hesychia”, from within which divine inspirations and awakenings and teachings arose…a man who refers to himself in his poem (through the voice of the goddess) as “kouros”, a word not only meaning ‘boy’, but also representing a tradition including “Iatromantis” – healer-prophets – where even the word “prophet” meant different than it does now – nothing to do with future-sight but everything to do with “someone whose job is to speak on behalf of a greater power”… So this “kouros”, in referring to “logoi”, didn’t mean “thinking” at all, but rather, that place of stillness (hesychia) and the teachings from within it. According to PK, the “Judge by reason” which has been the root of all thought for thousands of years, was a grave mistake – “The Greek text as it has been handed down to us is wrong” (p134). Parmenides didn’t mean “judge by logic”, but rather “discern with your hesychia” – PK says, “And this is what logic once used to be. It was a fine, fine thread connecting us with another world: a gift from the gods, a magical lure drawing us into oneness.”

As if that wasn’t enough to rock my world over Christmas, revealing to me that my own inclinations, my own intuitions, may have come to me by pure genetic hard-coding, that the very practice I had been in that two weeks was reminiscent of my ancestors practices, and the voice that’s guided and driven me for so long was one my ancestors were intimately aware of, intimately engaged with…

As if that wasn’t enough, then there was another mindblower (among many PK offers).

This was about the true face of Aphrodite – Love – in his poem. According to PK, we have misinterpreted “Love” as the good-guy, and “Strife” (death, separation, the separate / oneness that is the state of non-duality) as the bad-guy to be avoided — when in fact it is the reverse (if we’re going to play games of good and bad) — that Love is the illusion that lures us, keeps us blinded into the illusion of non-duality…that even as we reach for communion with other, reach for love, we are reinforcing the false limitation-of-perception that says that we are separate, that we are incomplete, in need of other, thus roots our perception into a state of believing this dual realm Is Real…that in fact Strife, Death, is a return to our origin, our original state of non-dual, of oneness with the Infinite Omniscient Omnipresent… That in this manifest realm, “everything is a dream”, and that our true return “home” is thru Strife, death, returning from the blissful deceptive illusion of love and duality and the physical world, returning back again to the non-dual, the oneness. Strife is the good-guy, the Origin, the Source….Love is the illusion we CHOSE to crate, chose to buy into, so that we could enjoy Experience. The eyeball can’t see itself, so if you’re omniscient / omnipresent / infinite, there is no such thing as Love, because there is no other, and there is no contrast. Love is the force that keeps us in “forgetting” who we most deeply Are. “Love traps the soul while Strife sets it free.” (p409). This reminds me of David Deida’s teachings on the duality in the physical realm of Love and Freedom. But I digress.

So now you have an insight into the context, in my core, the context of “Love and Strife” that will make this next third of the triad make more sense.

I’ll call this entry – Loneliness

So – I had a nightmare about Grady being dead; woke feeling so lonely, so devistatingly lonely

and suddenly i remember….”love/strife”….”the sandbox”….
and while i’m crying i chuckle – isn’t this grief quaint…

“then, connecting with the loneliness of it….i had a sudden ‘epiphany’ about ‘lonely’ not as a bodymind trauma, but as THE ORIGINAL soul-level trauma.”

here’s what i mean

i’d previously had an ‘insight’ about how ‘separation’ was a early
soul-level trauma. the experience of being separate from Infinite Creation,
the frustration of living in a realm that doesn’t create as instantaneously
as Source, that moves more slowly, that takes time to click peices into

i’d previously come to terms with the ‘black paint’ entry – the ‘good enough’ -the nature of this realm – flawed by design – there’d be no mutation if not for dna enzymes selecting ‘good enough’ – if it did perfect reproduction, we’d never change, never evolve, there’d be no anomolies available for new outcomes to emerge. the nature of this realm is imperfect. i came into contact with the part of me that had a bodymind subtle-belief i’d been carrying for lifetimes about ‘trying to get it right’, when ‘by design this land isn’t capable of ‘right’, it’s the nature of duality for there to be flaws, to have it all go wrong – that’s WHAT WE CAME here for – imperfect so that we could see ourselves – duality IS the original manifestation of imperfect, where perfect is omnicient/infinite/omnipresent – unable to see itself, to experience and i came to terms with the invitation in this bodymind experience to do imperfect as an act of play in the sandbox – do as best as i can with what i have. to remember that this realm was for play, for experiencing, and to remember not to take the sandcastle making so seriously.

then i woke from this grady dream and i felt – so so so crushingly lonely in the world. so crushingly lonely. then i remembered Peter Kingsley’s ideas around love (coming together, communion, the act of duality) and strife (aloneness, death, stillness) – where he tries to get us to see his sense of the original meaninig in Parmenides writing – which is that strife is really not the ‘bad guy’ to be avoided, but the original source, the ultimate destination, the truth that LoveAsIllusion attempts to obscure, that Love deceives us into forgetting.

and in putting 2 and 2 together i realized – THIS IS the original soul level trauma. If what I knew before (that separation / slow creation frustration is an early-soul trauma), i suddenly saw that this loneliness isn’t a bodymind trauma, but an “Original Sin” – the original soul trauma. It goes like this:

As Source we feel alone – as everything, as infinite, as omnicience,
we know everything, remember everything, so there’s no way to
see ourselves, b/c there is nothing outside of Self to witness Me.
There’s also no way to enjoy Joy, the joy of experience,
or experiencinig a part of Experience, because there is no way
to experience ‘a part’ without remembering the whole.
Thus there is only stillness.

So for the joy of feeling ‘a part’, for the joy of being able to forget
Me As All so that a part of me can see Me, I chose duality. I
chose to Be A Part (to be apart) (to split off into non-omniscient

Then, here as bodymind, i forget who I Am. And in this forgetting,
I feel lonely, and in this forgetting, I reach for love and communion
– a kind of call to restore to the Oneness that I am – a natural
outcome of the choice to be apart / a part. And in the longing for
communion – Love – i remain rooted in this illusion, this apartness.
it’s the very quest of seeking communion with something else
that is the making of me not whole, not full, not Allness. Love is
the very force that makes manifest reality possible. She is the
very sorceress of this Realm. The paradox is that here in this
Realm where we are all “companioned” as dual beings, we are

Then as spiritually awake ones we remember – ah, i find my
sense of “un-lonely” again when i remember who I Am. When I
tune into Me as Infinite Self – i’m not lonely anymore. How can I
be lonely when I Am All Things? When I Am Everything? So as
bodymind I rediscover my unlonely through remembering Me as
Infinite Self. I have access to all. What is there to feel lonely

But then it hit me –

How could I feel alone when I am infinite?
I – infinite – is precisely WHY I feel alone. I Am.
(I am alone + I Am All Things = nondual = singular = Alone!!)

Then, as my journal entry invites, I turned the experience of
lonely back onto Self, looking thru bodymind eyes of lonely,
back to the Self As Lone-ness, As Singularity, seeing the
original “sin” of Original Aloneness Perceiving infinite nonduality.

Lonely seeing Original Loneliness.

and suddenly i felt absolutely calm.

From here, noticing my bodymind experiencing lonely is kind of
funny – it’s the Infinite Joke – strife isn’t a bad thing (but loneliness
feels bad). Strife is the return to Source of Who I Most Deeply Am.
My quest for communion in my loneliness isn’t the sweet
resolution love paints it to be. Love is the very artist creating this
experience of the non-dual world – the very jailer who keeps me
bound in the cycle of seeking another – the very warden who
constructs for me the emotional jail of the illusion that i am
separate and that communing with another will fill me. Commun-
ion with another wont fill me, first b/c this whole realm is an
illusion, and second because the nature of who I am as nondual
no escaping it at the deepest level because it Is who I Most
Deeply Am.

“first i had a grady dream, woke crying…”
“then, connecting with the loneliness of it….i had a sudden ‘epiphany’ about ‘lonely’ not as a bodymind trauma, but as THE ORIGINAL soul-level trauma.”

we’re destined to feel lonely because that Is who We Most Deeply Are.
there are 2 things we can do with it –
we can buy into The Realm Illusion,
we can choose to forget who We Are, and we can buy into Love –
seeking after love, communion, another to be together with.
and we’ll find moments of respite, maybe even years of it
and we’ll be together with other and remember we’re still lonely
no one will ever fulfill that void, because Void Is Who We Are.
but we can enjoy the illusion and forget for a while if we want.
and enjoy Love.
or we can turn consciousness back onto itself,
finding stillness and peace by being with the Strife that Is.
the nature of Oneness is Singularity – Aloneness.
there’s no escaping it except by forgetting
and in this ultimate remembering, we have a possibility of grays –
we are never alone b/c we are Infinite
we are always alone b/c we are Infinite
we can find Love therefore we’re never doomed to be alone
we’re always alone because the Realm within which love lives,
is just an illusion, and Love is the maker that keeps us here.

My lonliness in the world isn’t a bodymind trauma –
It’s the nature of My Very Soul, Essence.

When I’m feeling the most desperately lonely, I’m not crazy – I’m connected to the experience of Godforce.

Trust and the Bungee Cord

Trust with an open heart that things are possible. When we walk in the world from fear, speculation, avoidance and distrust, the baggage is like bungee cords that pull us backwards. Hold the vision of what you do want, ask for it, trust with an open heart; at least then you’ll have a shot at reaching your vision.

Dear Maya….

Thought you’d enjoy this mini-conversation I shared with a friend about polyamory.


Dear Maya,

How do you do it? How do you manage a poly relationship? I am watching friends fall apart because they tried it and its just hard…even for me because I am friends on both ends.


Dear Heartbroken,

How is this different than a mono-relationship; isn’t it the same pain?

It’s true that polyamory has its own challenges and learning opportunities. But in my opinion, leading a healthy, successful poly relationship takes many of the same basic skill sets that you need in order to lead a healthy, successful monogamous relationship. In my 20 years of coaching, I have seen many people who just flat don’t have the basic skills to live a successful, thriving relationship.

Here’s one example. When the sh** hits the fan, I often see people make one of 3 basic communication mistakes:
1. confuse stories for observations (ex: she’s mad at me vs/ she hasn’t made eye contact with me today) – we can avoid misunderstandings if we – as Krishnamurthi suggests – seek the intelligence of observing without judging.
2. confuse feelings and needs for thoughts and judgements (ex: i feel like he should spend more time with me if he loved me) – when we separate our feelings (sad, disappointed, unhappy) and needs (because I want companionship) from our thoughts, we have a better chance of asking for what we want in a way others can hear (ex: i’ve been sad wanting more companionship, would you spend 2 hours with me tonight?)
3. not make clear doable requests to meet their needs

These simple, common habits can make or break a conversation.

Now take folks without basic relationship and healing skills, throw them into a poly scenario where emotions are even MORE likely to be stimulated, and where transparent, generative, needs-based conversation is even more vital, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster alright! This is why they pay me the big-bucks to do relationship coaching. *wink*

With a few fundamental skills and practices, I believe many more polyamorous and monogamous relationships would thrive.

If you’d like more information about polyamory, or if you’d like a free consultation toward an ongoing coaching relationship, call Gail toll-free 1.877.535.5438.

Thank you Love!

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