Posts Tagged 'Personal'

Protocol Update

Jody emailed me asking for more info about my current protocol.

Here’s a general overview, with a few random details – I could practically write a book about all of this.  I admit it’s not my most brief writing.

I hope it helps someone out there anyway.

Blessings,
Maya


Hello Maya,

I am totally bedridden and no doctors have been able to help me. I have read your postings extensively and I’m hopeful that you might email me the more recent Protocol that you followed to help you feel much better.

I really appreciate any response from you,

Jody

Hi Jody,

Thank you for your post on my blog (copied below).  I’m so sorry to hear you’re totally bedridden.
This is a long email.  I hope you have help or energy to get through it. heh.
I hope it helps.
There’s so much I could share with you.  My protocol is NOT simple, and has NOT been easy.  It has taken a lot.  And I still have a way to go.  Some weeks I was in total despair and discouragement.
This has taken me a ton of patience, tenacity, and tracking all my steps, and a ton of trial-and-error.
I also had to learn to add each step in tiny baby steps, and keep doing previous steps while adding new ones.
Here’s a SAMPLE list of all the things in my protocol (this is cyclical, I do a bit more of each, each cycle):
STATUS CHECK: 
  • Blood tests (many different ones) to get baseline information
  • DNA test confirmed I had MTHFR mutations effecting metabolism
PREPARATION: 
  • Begin to Heal vitamin, mineral and micro-nutrient Deficiencies
  • Learn how to properly maintain balanced electrolytes
  • Clear out detox pathways to prepare for detoxing
  • Begin to slowly add in co-factors necessary for later steps
CLEARING GARBAGE OUT: 
  • Begin simple stretching / easy beginner yoga to help circulation clean gunk out
  • Detox parasites – Cure systemic bacterial overgrowths / infections
  • Heal the gut biome with proper types and amounts of probiotics (many are not proper)
  • Replace household products, body producs and foods that have toxins, carcinogenic substances, endocrine disrupters,  … (sls, aluminum, “fragrance”, anything 3+ on EWG’s site) – use cleaner / healthier alternatives
  • Upgrade supplementation to help support deeper healing processes
  • Cure leaky gut
  • Detox heavy metals
  • Eliminate ALL sources of stress – “friends”, work schedule, horror movies, anything that stressed me out.
  • Eliminate “inflammatory” foods and learn how to reduce systemic inflammation
  • Eliminate American wheat from diet (glyphosate) and stop eating any GMO products (especially corn, soy)
RESTORE GREATER BALANCE
  • Sleep 8-10 hours a day starting at 10:30pm
  • Drink only pH-balanced distilled water
  • Eliminate problematic diet issues – for a long time I had to drop all alcohol, gluten, dairy, and tons of foods that were causing me issues
  • Learn a properly balanced nutrient-dense meal-planning structure
  • Learn how to deal with my genetic mutations effecting metabolism
  • Slowly add in tiny efforts of 7-minute HIIT cycles, anything is good (ie: heal insulin resistence and restore insulin sensitivity to reduce hypoglycemia stresses)
  • Get my systemic imbalances under control (as Dr. Lam says, the OAT axis – more in a bit).
MAINTAIN BALANCE: 
  • Slowly add in supplements specific to my body profile to support healthy function for my MTHFR mutations and adrenal fatigue and insulin resistance and estrogen dominance etc.
  • Slowly re-grow mitochondria that were probably devastated, be sure other items stay in balance while adding new energy-producers to the body – they will consume more resources.
  • Eat only organic, whole, live foods whenever possible, at least 6 fist-sized servings per day.
BUILD RESILIENCY: 
  • As systems heal, you need less of some bits of previous steps, and more of others.  Over time I could add allergen-foods back into my diet.  I’m not so diet-restricted anymore.  Over time I could take less of some supplements.  I expect more resiliency to grow with time so I can wean myself off more of the (enormous numbers) of supplements I’ve had to take over the years.
In short —
I had to learn a ton.  I had to learn a ton about my body and step-by-step how it responded to various supplements and combinations.  I had to learn what each and every symptom meant, and what would give my body what it needed.
Most importantly, I had to learn that Every Day is Constant Adjustment – like riding a bike.  No Static Plan Works.  I had to learn how to carefully listen to my body and learn what to do to re-adjust the handle-bars every few steps along the way to maintain and grow my balance.
The good news is that now:
  • I sleep through the night – OFTEN
  • Especially on good days, I can often do physical things for myself again – I can sometimes cook, clean my own house again, shop for my own groceries again – all things I could not do literally for YEARS.
  • I’m getting my fibroids reduced and my menorrhagia under control – I bleed 1/3 as much as I used to each month, almost a normal (2-4 days heavy) cycle where previously it was 7-15 heavy days with no days off in between.  I expect this to continue to improve as I do another cycle of the “fibroid heal” combo I am using.
  • I can do bits of 7-minute HIIT workouts that I could do NOTHING of before
  • I’m now bedridden roughly only 5-7 days a month, and up to 60% of my previous functionality on good days — where I had been bedridden for months at a time and extremely weak even when I was ‘better’.
  • I have better diet resiliency – I can eat some of the foods I used to love, as long as I don’t overdo it or do it too often.
  • My RLS symptoms are MUCH more rare and lighter now, and I usually can eliminate them within minutes (drink water, balance my electrolytes, take tissue salts, eat a bit of salt, or I need to eat a snack)
  • My fall hay fever is far, far more mild, and I never get the complications I had in college (bronchitis, asthma symptoms, borderline pneumonia)
  • My mood, mental clarity and ability to engage projects has improved radically
I had to make a lot of changes to my life and diet and habits, and STILL I have a way to go to get back to the activity level I could do in my 20s and 30s.
I know – these are broad brush strokes without specific “how to”s.  That would take a lot more time, but I can offer a few leads and starting details about things I’m doing by starting here:
Things improved for me when I was first introduced to Functional Medicine (osteopaths).  Conventional (allopathic) medical  doctors were an absolute horror to deal with, borderline criminal in things they said to me, refusing to give me tests I explicitly asked for to discover or rule-out pre-clinical imbalances, the amount of money they charged me for NO help at all, treatment full of negligence, misinformation, drug-pushing (including substances that should not have been suggested for my body which exacerbated my issues) and lack of education.  Functional Medicine trained doctors are the only medical practitioners I now trust.
I then got more improvement using things I learned from Dr. Ben Lynch (mthfr.net plus youtube introductory videos with visuals) and Dr. Andrew Rosenberg (Boise, Red Mountain) materials online (website and introductory youtube videos).
I added things I learned from them, to the base protocol I was already using from Dr. Lam for Adrenal Exhaustion, and started to really see radical improvements.
“Bedridden” is a very hard place to start.  Your body may need detox (get the garbage out and unclog) first and foremost (like mine did) before you add in any new things to help you heal (diet, supplements, etc).
But if you’re already super low in physical resources, detoxes can be especially draining and devastating.  Most of this process, I lived alone, and some days I could barely make it from my bed to the bathroom.  Showering meant several black-out episodes – if I could shower at all.  I’d black out just trying to walk to the kitchen for food.  I had no energy, so very often I couldn’t manage to cook or even feed myself properly.
Do you have support?  I wish I had had someone who lived with me who could have helped me cook, and help me track my process and heal faster.  Some days my brain fog was so bad I couldn’t even remember what supplements I’d taken a few hours earlier.  I had to learn to build written structures to help me keep track of things.
I started out with blood-tests (LEF.org, summer sale) to find out a baseline of what was going on.  So much of my body was off:
  • I got a comprehensive nutrient panel – I had tons of deficiencies – iodine, zinc, B12, D, K, Iron, Calcium, magnesium, and others.
  • I got a wide-spectrum food sensitivities and allergies test – turned out tons of my daily foods were allergens for me — rice, garlic, dairy, avocado, things I ate every day…
  • I got a comprehensive stress-panel (cortisol, dhea, adrenal function), and comprehensive endocrine panels (estrogens, testosterone, much more) and found out that I had 3 systems in failure — my adrenal system, my thyroid system and my ovarian system (hormones) were totally out of whack.
  • I got a DNA test for MTHFR and found out I have a genetic mutation that contributes to (so many issues I have had) – adrenal fatigue, insomnia, estrogen dominance that lead to fibroids, so much more.  Turns out all these things were preventable if I had been educated by the right doctors 20 or 30 years ago.
  • I also learned that some of my difficulties related to my previously diagnosed heart murmur – symptoms consistent with congestive heart issues (also MTHFR-related)
I learned that my food sensitivities were a result of gluten-induced and candida-induced leaky gut.  I had to deal with that too, heal the gut lining and eliminate the culprits.  I still continue using l-glutamine and l-lycine to keep my gut lining healthier.
But getting the baseline status information wasn’t enough.  When I started taking supplements and products to heal my deficiencies or to detox candida, I had horrible issues.
You see, I had estrogen dominance, which had clogged my detox pathways, so any detox or upgrades I tried only made me worse at first.
So then I started using molybdenum, milk thistle, NAC, and quercetin daily and doing regular simple liver/kidney cleanses to clean out and support my detox pathways.  I used a simple parsley tea for liver cleansing, and simple lemon-water for kidney cleansing.  I have to keep doing them periodically, because I’m still detoxing and healing my system more and more deeply.
I couldn’t even eat fruit for a long time, because the sugars would spike the systemic candida overgrowth and knock me out again.  I had to do an elimination diet and slowly re-add foods back in later as I got my candida, inflammation and food allergies under control.  I’m still getting rid of parasites.  But I can only do one layer at a time, like peeling an onion.  Otherwise my body can’t handle the load and it shuts down again.
So keep in mind, even WITH cleaner detox pathways, my system was so weak at first that each new step I learned I had horrible results before I got better — detox creates Herxheimer reactions in the body, and each baby-step I added to healing my body, I often had to live through the detox reactions.  This taught me that I had to supplement low-B vitamins (B1-B6), molybdenum, NAC, etc and NON-FOLIC-ACID multi-vitamins to help with detoxing and healing.  I also had to slowly pulse in liposomal glutathione to help the body cell-division to create new tissue for my healing.
Also because my system was so very weak, each detox (especially candida detoxes) resulted in UTIs and yeast infections.  So then I had to learn to be sure I used D-Mannose and FemDophilus every detox to protect my excretory channels from infections.
So anyway, going back to my overview list at the top of the email –
I’ve done a ton.
I don’t know what you need to do – you need to get the proper support that suits your unique body situation, body history and family medical history.
I do recommend starting out with a battery of baseline tests and I HIGHLY recommend finding a Functional Medicine Doctor who is Well Experienced in Adrenal Exhaustion, Lyme Disease, Metabolic Disorders and MTHFR.
Can you afford that?  I couldn’t, so I had to educate myself more and more and more and learn a ton.  I made many mistakes along the way.  I also learned a lot.
If you want to ask me questions, feel free.  If you want to talk about your list of symptoms and history, I’ll listen.  Just know that I’m NOT a doctor and CANNOT tell you steps that will work for You.
But I Can tell you a ton about what I did, what worked for me, what didn’t, and what I learned.
I hope this helps, Jody.
Let me know if you want to talk more.
Maya

Oh Rocky!

I’ve just seen Tim Curry in Rocky Horror for the first time, and spent days basking in the companionship of the Gnostic, Kabbalistic, Hermetic esoteric message. I too remember doing the time warp into this rocky horror science fiction show for the thrills! And just recently, after years of wanting to return to the Trans-sexual, I saw blue skies through my tears, and decided I might actually like to stay. If you experienced this transmission from the movie too, let’s talk!

Big Changes – an Update

Hi 🙂  How are you?

Well, I’ve not posted in a long time, and there was a gap between my last post and the ones prior.

In short, there are big changes afoot, and nothing has seemed post-worthy to me in a long time.

What changed?  Why, thank you for asking!

In short (again?), I spent 20 years of my life trying to contribute to the evolution of consciousness.  “Let’s change the world for the better!” said my eternally optimistic idealist.

Then something shifted in me.

I realized that Great Order revels in Experience, and in that, All colors of the rainbow are going to manifest and express themselves.  Trying to change the world is like trying to force the whole rainbow to get yellow instead of being what it is.

Suddenly, there’s nowhere to go.  Nothing needs to be ‘fixed’ or ‘changed’.  Evolution Is.  Great Order, Is.

“What about dying babies and mass murderers,” you ask, aghast?  Sure.  What about Corporate abuses of power, Political corruption, human corruption for that matter?  What about Nibiru and the coming Ice Age and devastating freak weather threatening our crops, our food production and our very survival?  What about that awful Rap music?!!

*sigh*  Do what you need to do, until you can’t do it anymore.  If you need to resist gays, or Republicans, or Liberals, or fear of death or whatever, then you haven’t yet learned that what you resist persists.  That’s ok.  Keep doing what you need to do until you can’t do it anymore.

Me, I’ve realized that the Face of Love (God, Source, Emergence) has universal core values under every Creation, and I’m more interested in seeing how Emergence chooses to Express Herself/Myself and to grok the underlying core value (and support That, which obsoletes distorted expressions) than to push against things in the ever re-cycling “revolution” attitude where the oppressed become the new oppressors.

Yes, it’s true that not all of Creation is Life Serving.  Yes, it’s true that I still tend toward Life Serving choices for the most part.

But I also see that nothing is universally “right” or “wrong” – even water can kill you in certain contexts.  I do what I can to interrupt “should-ing on” myself or others, and look instead to support the Core Values.  In those Expressions of Self I see only Love.  Sometimes, Life makes Love As War.  It just Is.

So instead of should-ing or pushing against it, I now see all of Great Order in terms of Her vibrationally opposing sine waves, antinodes and nodal points.  Nothing is fixed, everything is in motion, evolving, being magnitized toward its resolution (nodal point) or into more vivid Autonomy and Experiencing and Self-Expression and Uniqueness (anti-nodes).

We don’t have to push the river to get it to bend a certain way – the river will find her own resolution.

Does that mean I sit on the couch all day and eat BonBons?  No, I knit.  Ha just kidding.  No, I’m not advocating non-action.  Chop Wood / Carry Water still applies.  My 3D aspect still earns income to direct 3rd Dimensional energy as I wish.  I still actively engage my 4th Dimensional and Long Body growth / evolution.  I still act, when needed, in protective use of force if that is called for.  If I’m cornered I still pull out Kali to Kick Ass.  I still create when I am moved to create.

However, I also don’t add to the ambient noise of human activity just because my immature shadow-aspects have a knee-jerk reaction to spit forth.  I’m more aware of the ambient field, the scattered noise, the distortions, and the reality that all Expressions are inherently full of Distortion (points away from the nodal point, looking for resolution).

So now my choices are coming out of a different Being.

Thank goodness.  It’s way less stressful here.

And if this doesn’t make sense to you, that’s ok.

So yeah. That’s where I’m at.

😉

– Maya

Bits and Mini-Rants

– The body is made up of communities upon communities of intelligences.  A man, having had heart surgery, suffers a (very well-documented) 2-week depression.  He’s convinced it’s not “his depression” emotionally, but that it’s his body’s depression, his body’s emotional response to the damage.  Another example: we’re now learning that one of the most useful acids in the intestine, butyric acid, is a by-product of certain intestinal flora.  Feed that community properly and you lose weight and lose inflammation.  Treat that community badly and you gain weight and suffer a host of intestine-related diseases and byproducts, including heart disease.  If you suppress cravings for food or an activity, you damage your relationship with the host of communities that are your bodily system, and you will pay a price for that unkindness.  Matt (Eat For Heat) encourages honoring cravings and avoiding the stress-response that comes from ignoring cravings.  When I think about the perspective that the body has a host of communities attempting to communicate with us, I think it’s criminal how mechanized we make the body, perceiving it as an object to be ignored and driven like an obedient slave while ignoring its natural (and subtle) forms of communication.

– Many in the integral community prefer the ascended path over anything descending.  Rob McNamara says “authentic relating betrays us” because it takes us away from the ascension path.  I think that’s crap.  It’s a beautiful singular permutation of perspective, which I value, but I also think it’s crap if it’s pretending to be Integral Wisdom.  Great Order is made up of both paths, and there’s nothing to resist.  In fact, I experience very vividly how the descending path is a direct path to God, as much as ascending into meditation, witnessing and observation are a path to God.  When we become masters of relating to our own feelings and needs, we begin to discover the expression of the Face of God that is the unique manifestation that is the self.  We find the cell in the body of Creation that we are.  But if you can’t identify your own feelings and needs and attend to them, how can you ever learn to discern which sets of feelings/needs are actually a face of the Divine, and which ones are actually residue pleading for resolution and release?  More, what you can’t do yourself you can’t do with others – anyone who can’t relate masterfully to their own feelings/needs and inner community can’t possibly relate with compassion to someone else’s feelings and needs.  Anyone who can’t navigate attending to a plurality of needs on the table can’t possibly negotiate living with the plurality of simultaneous needs that is natural in a relationship, and more so in an intimate relationship.  As a woman, I have experienced God many times in profound intimate Communion with Lover, which isn’t possible with someone who is hungrily escaping into ascension or devoid of the presence that comes with personal intimacy with the emotional (subtle and physical) aspects of inner community.  Descending is as valuable as Ascending – they are both parts of Great Order and Both are paths to God…and both are part of the infinite cycle of One Voice that is Involution and Evolution.

Rules For Relating

My 20s and 30s were all about ruling people in or out of my life. I had very overt, and very subtle, ways I would do that.  Now, I’m learning I want different – I want to live in practicing, “How do we find each other (again)”?

Alternative to “Bad Shadow Government Illuminati” Narrative

I have lots of friends campaigning against “shadow government” or against “the Illuminati” or against “the reptilians” or “the bankers” or “the powers that be”.

I am very educated to these narratives. I get it. And –

I would like to propose a more generative perspective.

After human beings were created, a point came where we were provided the space to be “self-governing” (self, meaning, “the local human population governing itself”).

Of course, at that time not all individuals were prepared – or psychologically equipped – for this task. Some people have longer cognitive lines than others. Some people have more agentic inclinations than others. So, necessarily, a small number of the “locals” took control, and started a not-so-complex chess game of politics, governing behind the scenes, currency and currency manipulations, etc… The masses, for centuries, have been the pieces on this chess board, moved by debt obligations, moved by fear and threats, moved by political maneuvering and moved by spin.

However, necessarily, we are now reaching a time in human history and human development where more and more of the chess pieces (the humans on the planet) are waking up, seeing the larger context of the chess board, and saying, “Wait a minute Chess Players – You’re not the boss of me!” More and more of us are growing up and emotionally maturing enough to learn that we (the masses) can govern ourselves.

As a human race, true “self governance” is not about a small group controlling the rest. True “self governance” is about each one of us, each individual, waking up to be able to govern ourselves.

Part of that is learning how to do “power with” instead of “power over”. The chess players did “power over” the rest. The people collaborating in open-source projects, collaborating on the Internet, and collaborating on crowd-sourcing, community resiliency, restorative justice and permaculture are all people embodying their learning how to do “power with”.

People doing “power with” realize that we are interconnected, and only going to thrive when we work together with each other and with the system as a whole. People who do “power over” think of themselves as separate, and everyone else and everything else as Enemy to be conquered and controlled.

History is teaching us that Power Over is a tragic strategy that falls apart in the long run. Power With allows us to adaptively generate solution on-the-fly – dynamic steering.

While we embody “us/them” villanization – when we push against a government figure, or a batch of “Illuminati”, or against a batch of “reptilians”, we continue to perpetuate the pawn mentality by playing into the victim triangle. The oppressed rise to become the new oppressors.

Only when we stand in our own sovereignty – and educate ourselves – can we evolve to our fullest capacity and our birth right – fully actualizing our capacities.

Standing in our sovereignty, for me, isn’t about pushing against the old structures. For me, the sovereign is visibile in us when we come together to create new systems that render the old systems obsolete – effortlessly and naturally.

So while I appreciate the attempt to “educate” that innocently moves people to villanize our government or our history or our shadow government or our ancient ancestors, I don’t subscribe to the villanizing, us/them behaviors.

I want to live more emotionally mature, more grown-up, and more productive than that.

Rather, I recognize that we are capable of waking each other up to our true capacities by moving forward into new structures.

That is who I am. I am a culture creator. I am a stand for the new structures. I am a creative being interested in contributing to the new systems (which will naturally and effortlessly obsolete the old).

So I propose that we put our energies into the Now and the Future and create the self-governing, system-awake, wholistic structures and environments that we want. This is a far, far more productive use of our energies than rehearsing the hatred of the old systems we are pushing against.

In hopes of inspiring your generative action to create forward,
Maya

 

Today’s Practice: Loving – Surrendering my Contain-er

Surrendering my Contain-er…as if my love were within me, contained, to be dolled out only in the right circumstances and to the right people…surrendering she who controls and meters out the when and the how much…surrendering my Contain-er.

My new Practice – similar to ‘random acts of kindness’ – a kind of deliberate, willful mischief of infusing random moments and random passers-by with heart, love, inspiration, invitations to play in the moment…asking people their stories until their light shines…hugging random strangers who look lonely…inviting a solitary person to join us at our table or movie seat…surprising people with a depth of loving kindness beyond what they imagined socially available…making good trouble…deliberate, willful mischievous acts of loving.

…sending out ripples of this energy into the pool of Great Order…

There’s no where to go, nowhere to be, nothing to get done. Why not give this kind of love? I give up my Contain-er. If once upon a time my Observer watched and felt sad at what I saw, this is my Observer standing as Creator, sending ripples of mischievous Love into the field.

What else is there better to do with a lifetime?


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