Posts Tagged 'promo'

Reduce Stress – Dissolve Fear (FREEbies)

This conversation happened on my Facebook page –

Hopefully you can use these freebies for yourself!

FACEBOOK STATUS: Gail feels relieved and liberated, having successfully peeled away yet another layer of fear.


Albert Brady at 10:43pm December 3

So, how did you “peel” it off Gail? What was your method? I went though an intense layer lifting off me today as well.
I’m happy to see you are liberated my friend.

Gail Taylor at 6:14pm December 4

Method – The Integrated Approach (my method, of course) 😉 1. Hear the language of the fear 2.) translate to the core need/yearning 3.) do releasework / grieve 4.) check back to the original stimulus and see if it’s resolved. If not, sthing wasn’t done on track during steps 1-4. For more info, here’s a page with freebies:

(UPDATE – woops, broken link. Until I can get it fixed, Step-by-step self-empathy  and inhale what you yearn for, exhale the angst, inhale the yearning, exhale the angst.


What Type Are You?

Have you ever met someone who was just far easier to talk to after 11am than he/she was at 7am? Oh yeah, that’d be me – I’m a night-person. You bright-eyed bunny-hopping morning people make me crazy; how do you do it?? I simply can’t cope with the sensory overload until after my system has had a chance to wake up slowly on its own. But give me a party that starts at 9pm or a social phone call that starts at 11:30pm and I’m good to go.

So, Gail is a night-owl. So what?

Not only am I a night-owl, but I’m an auditory, descendant, yin-in-relationship yang-at-work, sameness-processing, 2nd-tier (I think, generally), planning-oriented, INFJ, yellow-red, 6, American white girl. No, I didn’t just drift into speaking spy-code, I just expressed my inclinations and my social education in terms of type.

So what?

The great thing about identifying your type across many subjects is that it gives you power – the power to choose circumstances that are a greater fit for you, the power to function more effectively as your Best Self, and the power (if you wish it) to cultivate the other type dynamic’s skills. (thank you Frank Herzog for our pretty image of power in the form of a brunette)

However, let’s be careful not to imagine we can pigeon-hole the complexity of humanity into a few letters and key words. We’re dynamic; we change, we grow, we adapt to suit our circumstances; in infinite ways, we find ways to be unique. We’re not simplistic two-dimensional robots who are always simple to categorize.

Meanwhile, I also propose that in the midst of our dynamism, we also tend toward preferred ways of being, in the same way some of us are right-handed and some left-handed. Even ambidextrous folks typically sign their name and eat with one hand or the other, and put their pants on one leg at a time.

In TIA – The Integrated Approach, we are invited to continually cultivate “both/and”, rather than living from “either/or”.

In this case, “both/and” means cultivating skills across multiple types, across multiple traditions, complementing the skills that we already hold and prefer and are adept with. We each naturally tend toward a particular type, as though we were dealt a hand of cards by the universe in our family, our genetics, our preferences, and our natural abilities. However, how many card games could we win if we always held a full deck of cards rather than the limited hand of cards we are dealt? Ha! With the entire deck we could win any card game we wish to play. Four aces, anyone? Anyone?

If you had your choice, would you walk around with one arm atrophied and limp with the other arm super-powerful? Or would you choose to cultivate and use both arms, even while one arm is stronger?

Likewise, in TIA we know that we have exponentially more power (the capacity to mobilize resources to fulfill the needs of ourselves, our families, our communities, and the world at large) when we are capable of choosing between two sets of skills rather than being hijacked and limited only having one set of skills. The pillar / module of TIA that invites us to this discovery and evolution is called, “Fully Expressed Energies” .

Also, by identifying our type tendencies we can identify our blindnesses, our biases, our unconscious expectations of what’s “good, true, and beautiful”. We unconsciously develop social biases by race, by country of origin or immersion, by gender, by religion, by political affiliation, by age… And when we remain passively isolated in this particular education or type-inclination, we inadvertently arm ourselves with a weaker, skewed, less complete perspective. It’s natural to be inclined toward a particular niche, strength, or bias; there aren’t enough hours in the day to enjoy an “occu-passion” and to cultivate omniscient mastery in all traditions’ types. However, we can choose – as a form of play – to actively broaden our horizons from time to time by deliberately exposing ourselves to unfamiliar types, cultures, countries, and ways of being. I’m sure you’ve experienced the expansive fulfillment and value of getting out of your comfort zone at some point in time, haven’t you?

Learning about type also is sane-making, in that it shows us “they’re not crazy, they’re just not us,” and “I’m not crazy, I’m just not you.” In exposing ourselves to a variety of type trainings we not only cultivate strength, choice, and power, we also cultivate compassion, tolerance, and acceptance of diversity.

From “Fully Embodied Energies”, below you’ll find a list of types from across many traditions. In each tradition, identify your niche preference / tendency. In each tradition, where do you tend to most often gravitate in your skills?

How much more powerful would you be if you cultivated *all* of the following type-skills? *

Here’s to options and possibilities,

Are you dominantly – a night-owl or a morning person?
Are you dominantly – auditory, visual or kinesthetic? *
Are you dominantly – ascendant or descendant? *
Are you dominantly – yin or yang? *
Are you dominantly – sameness-processing or difference processing? *
Are you dominantly – left-brained or right-brained? *
In business / at work are you dominantly – a planner, manager, or a doer? *
In wealth are you dominantly an employee, self-employed, a business-owner or an investor? *
In communication, are you most often informing or directing?
Are you dominantly – (Spiral Dynamics center of gravity) 1st or 2nd tier? *
Are you dominantly – (Spiral Dynamics center of gravity across lines of development) red, blue, orange, green, yellow, etc.? *
Which Myers-Briggs type do you most identify with (E/I, N/S, T/F, J/P)? *
Which Personalysis type do you most identify with (red, green, yellow, blue)? *
Which Enniagram type do you most identify with (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 + a wing) *
Which world culture do you most identify with?
Which race, gender, political affiliation, religious training do you most identify with?
How old are you?
If you’re a woman, which energy do you most often embody: queen, amazon, seductress, comedienne, nun, nurturing mother, whore, superheroine, bimbo, little girl.
If you’re a man, which energy do you most often embody: king, warrior, lover, comedian, monk, nurturing father, gigolo/player, superhero, idiot, little boy.

* To learn more about types, or to cultivate your power and skill across types, enroll in a 12-session coaching cycle by calling 1.877.535.5438. I’ll even throw in an additional first-hour for you for free, so we can discuss your
goals and hopes for the study/practice and cater the program to suit your needs and intended outcomes. It’s a toll-free call, so ring me today!

Dear Maya….

Thought you’d enjoy this mini-conversation I shared with a friend about polyamory.


Dear Maya,

How do you do it? How do you manage a poly relationship? I am watching friends fall apart because they tried it and its just hard…even for me because I am friends on both ends.


Dear Heartbroken,

How is this different than a mono-relationship; isn’t it the same pain?

It’s true that polyamory has its own challenges and learning opportunities. But in my opinion, leading a healthy, successful poly relationship takes many of the same basic skill sets that you need in order to lead a healthy, successful monogamous relationship. In my 20 years of coaching, I have seen many people who just flat don’t have the basic skills to live a successful, thriving relationship.

Here’s one example. When the sh** hits the fan, I often see people make one of 3 basic communication mistakes:
1. confuse stories for observations (ex: she’s mad at me vs/ she hasn’t made eye contact with me today) – we can avoid misunderstandings if we – as Krishnamurthi suggests – seek the intelligence of observing without judging.
2. confuse feelings and needs for thoughts and judgements (ex: i feel like he should spend more time with me if he loved me) – when we separate our feelings (sad, disappointed, unhappy) and needs (because I want companionship) from our thoughts, we have a better chance of asking for what we want in a way others can hear (ex: i’ve been sad wanting more companionship, would you spend 2 hours with me tonight?)
3. not make clear doable requests to meet their needs

These simple, common habits can make or break a conversation.

Now take folks without basic relationship and healing skills, throw them into a poly scenario where emotions are even MORE likely to be stimulated, and where transparent, generative, needs-based conversation is even more vital, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster alright! This is why they pay me the big-bucks to do relationship coaching. *wink*

With a few fundamental skills and practices, I believe many more polyamorous and monogamous relationships would thrive.

If you’d like more information about polyamory, or if you’d like a free consultation toward an ongoing coaching relationship, call Gail toll-free 1.877.535.5438.

Directing vs/ Informing

Many of my coaching clients get tremendous results and benefit from a body of work I’ve created called “Powerful Requests”. Although it goes in tandem with another body of work I call “The 10-Minute Manifestor” – “Powerful Requests” elements also often stand alone.

Here’s an excerpt from “Powerful Requests” that I hope you’ll enjoy using!

GailDirecting versus Informing

Directing and Informing are two styles of how we can make requests. In Directing, we explicitly direct the person to fulfill what we’d like (we ask that they tell us something, or do something that will meet a need for us, or agree to a change that will gift us both). In Informing, we simply give them information and let them come up with a thought about what they’ll do about it.

“I’m cold.” – Informing
“Would you grab me a sweater please?” – Directing

Both styles are powerful. In the play of energies of yin and yang, if we imagine that the Informing style is yin, and the directing style is yang – by having full skill to use both, we can more effectively support the world around us. Some people will resent being directed; meeting them with yin Informing style may be a gift that opens them. Some will be confused if they are met with the Informing style and not take action to attend to the needs at hand. They may find it a gift to be simply directed at what it will take to contribute to the need on the table.

Often when clients come to me for help to manifest the kind of ease, fulfillment, and thriving they’d like, they may be adept at Informing but not so adept at Directing.

The skill of clearly, explicitly speaking to your underlying needs and what you want others to do about contributing to your needs can make or break your life thriving.

Extract on Stronger Directing:

When making a request, be sure your request tells the person (or yourself) what you want Done – not just the outcome you want or the circumstances you experience.

Client: I told him I wanted a lighter schedule!
G: As him, I hear you giving me information, but it doesn’t tell me what you want me to do. You might opt to strengthen your request with:

Ex: I’d like no more than 3 hours this week. Could you tell me if that’s workable?
Here you’re telling them to do something – to tell you if they can honor the prior sentence.

Other direct requests (ones that tell the speaker what you want them to do) might include:
Ex: Please tell me which 3 hours you’d like of me.
Ex: Please erase 7 of the 10 hours from my schedule.
Ex: Please schedule me only on Monday from 9-12.

The more you direct, rather than inform, the more likely your request will be met.

Would you like 5 free ideas for how to turn something you want into a more “Powerful Request”? Include it in your comment, and I’ll respond!

Knowledge and Adventure

Henry David Thoreau said most people “live lives of quiet desperation.” Are you one of them, or are you a seeker of adventure, knowledge, growth and fulfillment?

What if a 24-hour program could give you everything you need to find an infinite source of knowledge and adventure?

It’s not enough to rage against the lie.. you’ve got to replace it with the truth. – Bono

Isn’t it about time you got to replace desperation with adventure, knowledge, growth, and fulfillment?

Here’s a 4-question interview that could increase thriving – for you, your family, your work/group/community, and beyond!



1. If you could see more fulfillment in 1 area of life, which would you choose to start with?

  • more for myself
  • more for my existing love relationship
  • more for my family
  • more for my office/organization/work environment
  • more for my group/community
  • more for my culture/subculture
  • more for the planet/humanity at large
  • more fulfillment for Isness / Emergence

2. In the area you chose to start with in question 1, imagine 1 thing that could contribute to your sense of fulfillment in that area. What comes to mind?

3. Quantify it – How could you describe your answer to question 2 in measurable terms? How much, by when; how would you be able to know when question 2 were satisfied?

4. Request it – What request could you make (of ourself or of someone(s) around you) that would contribute to your answer to question 3 happening?

5. Skillful Means – On a scale of 0-10, how effective are your requests at getting what you outlined in question 3? 0 = not at all; 10 = I have gotten my request so abundantly met that I’m utterly and completely fulfilled in the area I chose in question 1.


If your answer to question 5 was 6 or below, you could be more effective in delivering Powerful Requests. You may want to consider enrolling in a coaching program or in a Teleclass directed at helping you strengthen that muscle.

If you had difficulty answering any of questions 2-4, consider calling to schedule a free coaching consultation as a gift to yourself. You cannot fulfill what you cannot name, quanitify and ask for. Give yourself the gift of clarity as a first step.

If you found questions 1-4 easy, and you *still* don’t experience the level of fulfillment you want in your question 1 domain, this is good news – the next step is obvious. Here’s why:

Like a dealt hand of cards, we each hold a specific set of skills, perceptions, tendencies, and inclinations on how to respond to our world. And, like a hand of cards, this set of cards is limited and often insufficient. Imagine you hold a whole deck of cards in your hands – you could win basically any card game you want to play!

If you already had the cards you needed to win the game of fulfillment in the domain you chose in question 1 – you’d already be winning. If you’re not winning, it’s because you don’t have the cards you need – it’s time to get them from someone else. This is why more and more people are turning to Coaches: life coaches, career coaches, financial coaches, organizational development coaches, spiritual coaches, communication coaches…or Integrated Coaches.

Integrated Coaches are coaches trained in The Integrated Approach (TIA). TIA Coaches a trained to help you uncover and recognize the areas where skills, perceptions, tendencies and inclinations are insufficient to expand fulfillment. TIA Coaches can then ask questions or provide recommendations for how to build those skills, widen those perceptions, balance those tendencies, and integrate new inclinations with the prior ones.

Ready to take the first step toward leaving the “quiet desperation” behind?

A single free hour could enhance your adventure, knowledge, growth and fulfillment.

Call and set a free appointment today! 1.877.535.5438

Here’s to your thriving!

Thank you Love!

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