Posts Tagged 'Second Tier'

Love vs/ Fear? Mis-transmission

During a meditation something came clear that I want to share, so I’m writing this post.  Here’s the “punchline”, but after sharing it I will share the context with you as well.

Blessings and Happy New Year,
Maya

We’re always doing Love/Loss/Transition.  Inhale/Exhale.  Fear is simply the withholding from participation in this trinity.  The “Love/Fear” duality is simply a tragic mis-transmission that only perpetuates more fear.

Having once been an avid student of David Deida’s, and a devoted colleague previously intimately connected with Ken Wilber, I have experience with the concept that we are either always “doing Love or doing Fear”.

Certainly this is a compelling idea.  Either we’re opening our heart to Life or we are shutting down in resistance, avoidance and contraction. This concept helped me to analyze my life, my intentions and my actions in a new light, as my spiritual perfectionist was determined to “do more love”.

However, I now realize that in the Great Order of Nature and Vibrational Dynamics, the Love/Fear duality simply isn’t true.  It’s not that we’re doing either Love or Fear.  In the Nature of Nature, in the vibrational dynamics and spiral pendulum of polarity play, we can only be Breathing.  In / Out.  That means that – we aren’t always doing Love/Fear. Rather, we are always doing either Love, Loss or Transition.

Love is like the inhale of breath.  Loss is like the exhale of breath.  The transitions happen at the top and bottom of each inhale or exhale.  Inhale (Love), transition, Exhale (Loss), transition.

So then what is fear?  Fear is like when we hold our breath – a kind of rigidity – a kind of temporary non-participation with Nature.  Fear is a temporary withholding from participation in the Love/Loss/Transition trinity.

Feel into it for yourself.  When I feel into this concept – the trinity of Love/Loss/Transition – my body softens.  When I feel into the duality of Love/Fear, my body stiffens.

Why?

As I reflect on life as the duality of Doing Love or Doing Fear – this itself perpetuates the fear of fear.  It sides with Love and pushes against Fear.  This in itself is a rigidity, a dis-integration.

In me, the Love/Fear duality mis-transmission, disconnected from Nature, perpetuates more fear (“Uh oh am I doing fear?!”), perpetuates more “should” thinking (“You should be doing Love, not doing Fear.”), perpetuates more judgment (“I’m doing fear, oh no I’m bad.”) and more separation from the Truth of Nature. No wonder the body stiffens.

More importantly, in an alchemical world embedded in a holographic universe, where thoughts are things, where science recognizes “spooky action at a distance” and where belief serves to generate reality, the belief in a Love/Fear duality only echoes and creates more separation from the power of Nature’s Breath.

Worse, the consideration of Love/Fear took me into my Manager Mind, and out of my core-listening to my own heart and body.

For me, when I feel into the trinity of Nature that is Love/Loss/Transition, suddenly my body relaxes.  Why?

From the trinity of Love/Loss/Transition, Loss is a temporary swing of the pendulum.  The inner child suddenly relaxes, seeing where loss is a natural part of Nature.  Suddenly many topics become less worthy of panic or avoidance.  Lost love, change, and even death reveal themselves as natural parts of a cycle of Life.  My breath deepens, lengthens, and again I feel participation with the current of Nature.

This trinity is also a guide.  When I feel myself holding my breath (feeling fear), there’s nothing to do but Breathe.  Love, Loss, Transition.  Afraid of the unknown? I guarantee it’ll be made up of only 3 things: Love, Loss and Transition.  Easy.

So here again is the note I wrote in my journal – I hope it serves you as much as it is serving me:

We’re always doing Love/Loss/Transition.  Inhale/Exhale.  Fear is simply the withholding from participation in this trinity.  The “Love/Fear” duality is simply a tragic mis-transmission that only perpetuates more fear.

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Sacred Geometry and The Nature of Everything

Thanks to an inspiration on Facebook, I am posting this Q and A to help anyone who is interested understand the connection between Sacred Geometry and … well … Everything.

If you’d like to see my facebook pictures in the post, I’m at http://facebook.com/mayagayam – or you can see previous posts on this blog for more info on sacred geometry and nature.

Enjoy!
M

Me: Yum!! Sacred Geometry Rocks. The Nature of Nature, Baby! Right under our noses. http://bit.ly/1bCytXu

JBN: What does this mean in simple terms (English) ?

Me: The YinYang symbol is a 2-dimensional symbol that is derived from (and represents) a dynamic 4-dimensional, toroidal structure that is at the root of Nature / SpaceTimeReality as we know it.

JBN: May I know what the practical application of this in we everyday life ?

Me: Sure. Just like the light-bulb, there are many practical applications of this tool depending on how broad or narrow your daily life is. For example – Some people are applying toroidal dynamics to create new, improved electricity circuits that operate on less power and generate electricity as they work (look up Keppe Motors). Some are applying toroidal dynamics to understand the electro-magnetic dynamics in the human body (your heart and brain are both sources of an electro-magnetic field). This toroidal behavior is part of the way everything in our physical Nature works – from the smallest to the largest (google physicists Nassim Haramein and if you can bear his languaging Walter Russell’s work, who discovered some of the elements on our periodic chart). There are more books and science sources coming out daily realizing the link between sacred geometry and all of the fabric of our lives (ex: the link I put up about jewel universe – here http://is.gd/jhP7pB ). Some are even applying knowledge of these dynamics to create alternatives to water generation and propulsion (Keshe). This same structure is related to the Flower of Life and the Tree of Life and the Sri Yantra – they are all 2-dimensional representations of the same main structures (see the photos in my albums). We see the connection in 3D in a new sound-related science called Cymatics; this relates directly to music and has possible medicinal applications (Rife). As we human beings learn how to represent toroidal dynamics in math, we are simplifying and correcting our understanding of the universe – everything from sub-atomic particle behavior to the way hurricanes and tornadoes work (there’s a yin/yang dynamic visible at the top of a hurricane), to the way galactic bodies work (the arms on the Milky Way galaxy and the way quasars behave, which is directly related to how our sun behaves) – (see also this link http://is.gd/vkaSFq ). Some are applying the new understandings in medicine as well. The shift in the way we understand reality is no less important or applicable as when we human beings stopped thinking the Earth was flat. Now because I’m interested in everything from healing to music to alternative energy to science to medicine to art to ancient history, and because I believe in informing myself when more accurate perspectives of reality are discovered, this is a part of my daily life, every day. Depending on your scope of interest, I hope this’ll help show ways advances in electricity, science, medicine and more might be related to your everyday life.

PS: If you want a real trip through 6 dimensions, turn off your sound and watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nInL4eC_fOo 😉

Out of the Dark Night

Hi again 🙂

Well this post is about a month overdue. Much has shifted in the 6 months since my July post. Thanks to Grace and the love of people around me, including people I didn’t even know, I am finding my way into my next life Chapter.

I want to tell you the whole story, but if you know me you also know I can tell a long story. 😉 How do I abbreviate it and still transmit its richness?

Hrm. Well let me try this:

Have you ever had an experience of rediscovering the true core of who you most deeply Are, remembering, and suddenly shifting perspectives?

Before, all I could see were my crest-fallen memories and conclusions based in seeing the heart-breaking darkness in our 3-D reality: my disappointments, lost hopes and dreams, corruption, unconscious shadow, places where I felt lonely wanting to be wanted, and the beautiful fabric of Great Order that has tragic, limited, flawed messiness at every stage of Spiral development. From there, I didn’t see where I belonged, I only saw my differences from the world around me. Now, thanks to a conversation with Paul Roberts (http://www.effectivegriefrecovery.com), I remembered the quad inner community members that make up our dominant personality experience (see also, MBTI on human development), and was able to release my inner adult coach from the spaghetti of complicated grief that I was having a hard time finding my way through.

You see, Paul’s perspective was that all of what I’ve experienced this last few years – the losses, the health-crisis, the shift in my direction, the failures and the absolute feeling of being lost and confused – were all a necessary set of stepping stones, the oft-named “Dark Night of the Soul”, congruent with the path I have chosen. This made total sense to me. As so many before me who have climbed the mountain and seen the expansive view only to tumble back down into the chasm, I needed to have my tumble before I could fully surrender into my next Phase. I see how this makes absolute sense – I retired my busy-minded work. I let everything around me go in favor of prioritizing my body’s healing. Everything had to stop for me to shed my old skin before I could move forward.

From there, Paul offered me the Shin Buddhist invitation to surrender to the (2nd-person face of God) Amida Buddha which ironically (by contrast of my own 3rd-person relationship to The Universe) polarized me right smack back into my spiritual center. It reminded me that I Know mySelf as the direct conversation with Source that I Am. I Remember – I am not this experience. I gnostically Know – I am the rider, not the vehicle of the bodymind. (Yes, I just made up “gnostically” I think.) I experience the true details of the vehicle, but I also know a Higher Truth about my Nature, I remember who I was before I arrived in this body. That rider, and the driver that guides that Rider, is far closer to who I Am, than the illusion of the 3-D world that I fell asleep within.

This liberated me out of many entanglements that have been weighing on me for a few years now.

But maybe most importantly, Paul (and events that happened “coincidentally” right after my conversation with Paul) lurched me head-long into the deep pool on the other side of Great Order — realizing Grace.

Yes – there is darkness, corruption, shadow, tragedy. And, there’s also Great Love, surprises, unexpected support, guidance, beauty and consciousness evolving, taking Experience beyond where it has been before.

So now, I feel…settled. Rumi says it’s my natural progression from Enneagram 6 to healthy integration of Enneagram 9. I guess so; it snuck up on me. I see who I Am, who I am, and I see the differences between me and the environment around me, but yet I feel at home in my body and in the World and The Fabric just as it is.

In this shift, I’ve also uncovered a bit of love I had suppressed within me that I didn’t recall was there. I love mischief; specifically, the kind of mischief that happens behind the glint in someone’s eye as they smile with inner knowing, joy and delight at the fullness of having engaged a Random Act of Kindness. I love the kind of Mischief of engaging conversation with a restaurant waitress or a grocery check-out person or the mailman in a way that lights them up until they beam. I love the play of participating in standard daily conversation carrying with me the dance of Love and Divinity inviting forward the Genius that we each are, each in our own unique ways. I am a Stand for that game, that “good mischief” as Rumi says.

I now refer to it as my “Secret Light Spy” game.

So…

Thank you, Paul, for the gift of your random (or not so random) act of kindness that helped shed light on my unconscious confusion. Thank you, Grace, for sending someone into my field who I’d only met once 10 years ago, and for inspiring him to look me up, read my blog and decide to email me about my July post.

Thank you History, for all the ways I was supported, loved, guided, protected, fed, sheltered and richly, richly gifted even when I was too blind, swollen, arrogant, scared or young to see it.

And thank you, Grace, for answering my prayer; I needed a ‘bigger game’ to play, a game from the land beyond politics and local drama, and you’ve given it to me.

So there it is. So much to be thankful for!

I’m coming back out to play, y’all. Something beyond self-power carries me now. And watch out, there’s a mischievous glint in my eye.

Love,
Maya

Practicing – The Love of Fear

Extracted from my personal journal – unedited….

See also my post on 5 Ways To Get Free From Fear.

While most of my adult life’s practice has included leaning into fear, that’s been with the intent to eradicate it.

In this set of notes, it’s not about eradicating fear, but about embracing it, embodying it as Sacred Theater, and allowing myself to Have It.

Hope my notes support you as fully as this has supported me.

Maya

Notes from Fear realizations

This all started when Gareth sent me the quotes about Holographic Universe, reminding me to pay attention to the smallest detail as information.

When I asked what detail that was, the answer came, “I’m scared.”

When I explored the, “I’m scared. So what, how is that an insight into the greater whole,” suddenly all sorts of insights opened up.

Thank Goodness for Rumi holding container, feeding moments back, digesting them with me, and deepening the conversation of how to Play Fear as Theater…

NOTES:

– Make love to “scared”

– Invite her or she shadow expresses!

– my 6!! fear!! my kink…fear (somewhat)….my favorite holiday – halloween…. I am hard-wired to process Fear for the Great Body!

– Rumi – play lover to fear // Maya – play fear

– have “I’m scared”

– My fibroids, no competence — oppty to HAVE scared.

– Fear is Fire, it TEMPERS your steel.

– Can’t have duality without fear. Where there is position, there is love / cherishing and a desire for self-preservation. The opposite duality can feel like a threat to self-preservation. Fear is a face of love and cherishing for what one holds.

– Fear is a face of Love.

– There’s nothing to fear but the SUPPRESSING of fear.

– The ultimate war is Love vs/Fear. And you can’t have one without the other (like two sides of a coin). Fear is Love. Love breeds fear. Just like a coin, the only way to have equilibrium is to let them spin together, dance together. Like the coin spinning on the table, you find equilibrium in the middle of the dance where both faces of love have themselves and express themselves fully.

– Have “I’m scared” like a lover. Give the fear over to the Earth, give it down into Gaia.

– Do Theater of Fear as a vehicle for letting Her have Her Self expression.

– Love / Heaven. Fear / Hell / Hell Fire!

Three Days' Practice

The sudden appearance of these lines on my inner “radar” have been the root of my last three days’ practice.

Enjoy!
M

There is only love. Fear, too, is a face of love. Love expresses more or less directly; fear is just the indirect expression of love. What is the love that is trying to be expressed through this fear?

There is always and only The Establishment. Even when are all free, this is then the new Establishment. From any Establishment there is always divergence. It is the way of nature.

movement

today i found the stillness
of calm assertiveness
and the stillness of equanimity
the stillness of seeing that
if i/I were to experience that delicious love,
that coming together,
I had to first create separation
and in the nature of separation,
is the outcropping of duality, and all it’s forms and faces.
hatred, antagonism, pushing against, campaigning to banish.
it’s all a natural outcome of separation
it’s all a natural outcome of
the same principle
that gives rise
to
love
communion
coming together
it’s all only possible if at first there is
separation.

today i found the stillness
of knowing
that
hitler deaths, the middle east,
sarcasm, hostility, mortality,
it’s all a consistent, natural outcropping
of the duality I made
the duality I chose to create.

A Perspective Of God

A Perspective Of God

we’re in a playground
the playground is for taking Thought beyond where It’s been before
(Thought. Experience.)

and this playground is a smorgasbord of choices.
all of them.
all of the spiral, all quadrants, levels, lines, states, and types
all of the myriad choices of what it is to Be.

Self can be a dog rolling in the grass, and Experience That.
And That Is Good.
Self can be a wealthy old man coddling his granddaughter in love.
And That Is Good.
Self can be a 20-something, or a 30-something, or a 40-something, starting to Remember Self in the bodymind,
remembering that We Are That.

As Omniscience, as Omnipresence,
the one thing Self canNOT do –
is forget that It Is.
But in this playground, we can forget that We Are.

In this plaground, Self can be a dog rolling in the grass, utterly having forgotten that We Are. And enjoying being a dog in the grass.

In this playground, Self can be a grandfather coddling his granddaughter, utterly having forgotten that He Is. And enjoying the limited view.

In this playground, Self can be a someone something, remembering Self again, and enjoying the Experience of re-membering.
And That Is Good.

Self can be a child dying.
And That Is Good.
One thing Self canNOT do – is forget that It Is,
and Experience being a child dying.
But a dying child CAN experience being a child dying.
and in the eyes of Self –
That Is Good.
It is Experience.
It is what takes Experience beyond the Nondual, beyond Omniscience
It’s Play in the Playground.

we’re in a playground
the playground is for taking Thought beyond where It’s been before
(Thought. Experience.)

and this playground is a smorgasbord of choices.
all of them.
all of the spiral, all quadrants, levels, lines, states, and types
all of the myriad choices of what it is to Be.

Including, being a perspective that doesn’t believe this poem.

Come. Let’s dance.


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