Posts Tagged 'tips'

How to Ruin a Conversation

I’m learning a lot, so I thought I’d share. Plus if you’re really good, you can use these to ruin an entire relationship, not just a conversation. Good luck!

1. Respond to others’ playfulness with contradictory statements instead of a simple smile. Do Not follow the improvisational rule of “yes – and…”, not even for two seconds. That’s too dangerous.

2. Hear others’ expression of pain as a personal criticism. Take it very personally. Get butt hurt. Don’t be curious about what is alive in them. Above all, do Not consider that you might have accidentally stepped on toes in the first place.

3. Talk all about yourself. For 10 minutes, 20 minutes, a half hour, 2 hours even. Don’t ask questions about the other person. Above all, do Not be curious.

3.5  If you do make the mistake of asking a question, be sure to interrupt the reply mid-sentence. Return to point 3.

3.75 Fill every spare second with talk, preferably about yourself. Don’t take a breath after you speak. Definitely don’t take 2 breaths. And be sure to start talking As Soon as the other person’s face hole has taken a tiny pause. Return to item 3.

4. Assume you know, Everything. There’s no way it’s possible someone has a valid point of view you haven’t considered. No way. You’ve travelled the world, you’ve seen it all, surely you must know it All. You’re Omniscient. You’re God.

5. Make everything you encounter “good” or “bad”. It’s not possible that there is no such thing as good and bad, only different perspectives. Above all, be sure to apply this to yourself. It’s not that all things can be both good/bad depending on the situation, it’s that You are bad, or good. There’s no both/and. And there’s no grey area.

6. When someone else is trying to tell you their feelings and needs to resolve an issue, attack them for being “overly sensitive” or for “giving you a hard time”. Resolving issues is Such a Bother.

7. Be fearful. Presume the new person you’re talking to must be crazy. Call them names as soon as you can and run screaming for the hills. Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

8. Do not take in what people tell you. If they tell you they aren’t available, insist they contact you so that You can feel better. Disregard their boundaries. If they say they don’t want single line emails, don’t listen, don’t honor their requests. See item 6.

9. Focus on the past. That was terrible. Oh no saying that was terrible too. Forget that there is a person, right here, right now, standing in front of you. Don’t smile, don’t laugh. You have more important things to think about than what’s right here right now. That was terrible. When this fails, try item 10.

10. Focus on the future. Run that train of projection and fantasy wayyyyy off into the land of what we could do. Or build a scary scenario in your mind about the horrors. Either way, forget that there’s a person you could look at, right here, right now. Don’t look them in the eye. Don’t just Be with them right now. Hey, what are your plans for next month? Oh, and remember to get butt hurt when they ask for one step at a time. See point 6.  When this fails, return to item 9.

11. Never take responsibility for your actions. If it’s pointed out that you stepped on toes, or acted out one of the items in this list, quickly and without reservation Deny, Deny, Deny! Then spin it and ridicule them for speaking up. See item 6 for ideas.  How dare they!

Congratulations!  Now you’re well on your way to ruining conversations and relationships!

Have fun!

How to Get Free From Fear – 5 Practices

What are you afraid of?

Nothing, you say? Bologna, I say.

We all have some degree of conscious or unconscious fear impacting our lives.

How can you verify when fear is in the mix? Words like “can’t”, “shouldn’t”, and “won’t” often indicate unconscious fears. What topics, people or places do you avoid? Hesitation, procrastination or avoidance often indicate unconscious fears. Judgments also indicate unconscious fears. We’re always only doing love (opening, curious, being present and in joy) or we are doing fear (contracting, resisting, avoiding). If you’re in a moment where you’ve lost your sense of humor, your ability to appreciate, your open heart or your curiosity, or your eager joy, unconscious fear is very likely in the mix.

If there’s any area of your life where you’re not experiencing what you want to experience, odds are, fear is part of the picture. With fear, we are living a fraction of our highest potential and whole health. Without fear we are at full choice and powerful to generate the kinds of experience we want.

Here are 5 practices you can use in the moment to transform conscious or unconscious fears to freedom and powerful action.

1. So what, then what?

Sometimes, freeing yourself from fear comes when you look the paper tiger in the eye.  Here’s one way you can do that:

Name your worst case scenario. Imagine it in vivid detail. Really try on that coat, fully, and then ask, “If this happened, so what, then what?” Don’t think about an answer, wait to experience the answer in your body. When you get an answer, ask the question again, “If that happened, so what, then what?” Beware of any draw to change the subject, take a nap or “step out of the fire”; lean in to the experience as deeply as you can. If you stay on track and do the exercise sincerely enough, the explosion of opening and freedom at the end of the exploration will stun and amaze you.

2. Try SORTting It Out ™.

SORTting It Out(tm) is a practice I created that taps the wisdom of your mind, body, heart, gut (unconscious core values) and action to transform fear to powerful steps and fulfillment.

First, with your hand on your head, (S)ay whatever thoughts or fears you have about this issue. Second, (O)bserve the heart and the gut behind those thoughts. What is the emotion and the core value behind the voice of your mind?
When you find those, you’ll feel a shift of relief. Next, (R)elease the emotional charge of the fear so that all you’re left with is the power of your clarity about your core values. There are many ways to do release work, any one you know that actually produces “shift” for you (not emotional bypass) will do just fine. Next, (T)rack your shift. If you started at a 10 of fear and beliefs of “can’t, won’t or avoidance”, where are you now? Continue the SORT until you reach a 0 or 1 of fear or emotional charge. Finally (t)ake generative action. Ask yourself, what request can I make of myself or others that would contribute to feeding the core value(s) I just discovered? If you’re SORTting It Out ™ accurately, you will have a full shift into freedom and power in under 20 minutes, or in as little as three breaths.

3. Do a Focus Wheel.

A Focus Wheel is a visual way of exploring your fear that results in freedom and a shift of consciousness.

At the top of a blank peice of paper, write the end result that you want but fear. Maybe you’ll write, “I can talk to women with absolute ease,” or “I speak in public with absolute delight,” or “Asking for what I want is easy.” (You’ll find pictures  below.) You’ll know if you have a good opening statement when you can barely write it without feeling nauseous. Next, draw a circle in the center of the paper, large enough to write this phrase when you’re done. Then draw a long thin arc about 1 inch wide and two inches long, starting from the rim of the circle, going away from center two inches, then returning to the rim of the circle an inch from where you started. It’ll look like a flower petal.  Now, on the side of the arc that moves away from center, write the first fear or reaction you have to the opening statement.  Maybe your reaction is, “No I can’t, I never have been able to do that.”  Write it on the arc away from center.  Next, ask yourself, “What truth can I find within me that brings me back to center”?  Maybe you’ll realize that, “What’s also true is that I’ve accomplished anything I set my mind to.”  Whatever truth you have that brings you back to center, that helps you regain your sense of power, write that on the side of the arc that returns back to the center rim.  Now reflect on that truth for at least 90 seconds. Really feel it.  Next, draw another arc that goes away from center and back to center. Reread your opening statement, and write the next reaction you have on this new arc, on the side going away from center. Then find the truth that brings you back to center, and write that on the other side of the arc.  Let yourself feel that truth for 90 seconds.  Repeat this reaction-truth-sit cycle of drawing arcs and writing on them until you have no more reactions left when you read your opening statement.  Usually reactions run out in 7 tries, plus or minus two. You’ll know you did the exercise properly if you feel at ease and peace when you re-read your opening statement. When this happens, re-write your opening phrase, but this time write it in the center of the focus wheel.  You’re done!  Now you can then keep or safely burn the focus wheel – you’re free!

4. Deepen Your Needs Consciousness.

Deepening your needs consciousness is a practice is uncovering the core values behind core values behind core values. When you get to the root, you find a liberating peak experience that transforms your sense of Self, showing you the power that you most deeply are.

To do the exercise, first notice what you’re afraid of. Let’s say you’re afraid of marketing your products.  Ask yourself, “What core value am I trying to protect or care for in my fear?”  Maybe you’ll discover that what you most yearn for is confidence that people will like you after you tell them what you’re selling. The core value is “to be liked/loved”.  When you find the core value behind the fear, close your eyes and vividly imagine experiencing it for at least 20 seconds. If your core value is “to be loved”, then imagine yourself abundantly cherished and appreciated by a crowd of people surrounding you.  Whatever your core value, imagine it in detail and feel it.  After the 20 seconds or so, ask yourself, “If I got that, what would it bring me?” In this case, it’s, “If I were loved, what would that bring me?”  Find out what gift are you trying to give yourself, or others, by seeking the first core value.  Maybe you’ll discover, “If I’m loved, then it would give me opportunities to hang out with other people (play).”  Now that you have a 2nd core value, vividly imagine experiencing THIS one for at least 20 seconds. Continue this cycle of core value – what would it bring me – sit with the one you find, by asking “If I got THAT, what would it bring me?” and “If I got THAT, what would it bring me?” In each round, be sure to let your body FEEL the experience of having the core value fed. As you go, notice any shifts in your body posture, sensations, or breath. Eventually you’ll reach a point where you feel enormously open, powerful, and peaceful. Sit with that sensation for at least 90 seconds; you’ve now started to connect with your Highest Self.Keep going, is there something more?  If not, ask your Highest Self what it thinks about the thing you’re afraid of. If you’ve done the exercise properly, you should experience a surprising shift, experiencing a new part of you that is utterly free from fear.

5. Sit in the fire.

Here’s another way to “look the paper tiger in the eye”.  In this exercise you’ll sit THROUGH the discomfort of feeling fear, until the burning discomfort simply evaporates itself, leaving nothing left but a purified you who is free from that fear.

To do this exercise, name the thing you’re afraid of.  Maybe it’s a situation you’re afraid of.  Maybe it’s a kind of loss, or a kind of pain that you’re trying to avoid.  Often, fear is about resisting something, bracing to try desperately to avoid the situation.  Whatever it is, vividly imagine it, and feel the discomfort of the situation.  Really feel it.  If you feel it only at a 6-out-of-10 or less, then imagine more vivid detail until you feel it at a 9-out-of-10.  Stay with it.  Don’t go to sleep, don’t try to fix the problem, don’t try to escape it and don’t surrender into acceptance, just sit in the fire.  When the discomfort begins to lessen, find the next most distasteful or scary aspect.  Stay with it.  You may experience biochemical release of the toxins of fear – burping, crying, shaking, and yawning are examples of release that show you’re on track.  Stay with it.  Keep painting the picture that stimulates your fear.  If you do the practice successfully, in 20-90 minutes you will experience a radical shift.  Suddenly it will feel like the clouds have parted and the storm is gone.  Revisit the original topic that scared you.  How do you react to it now?  Clients who have done this practice successfully with a coach report shifts like, “Wow, that just doesn’t phase me anymore,” or simply shrug saying, “I know I started with that but it seems kind of silly to me now.”  On the other side of the fire of fear is a wide open, easy, spacious freedom.  Find it.

Not all of us can both follow the practice instructions AND go deep in the work.  If you need, hire a coach who will hold the process for you and help you stay on track.

When you complete any one of these practices, do gentle movement like stretching or take a short walk, and be sure to drink at least 20 ounces of water within 20 minutes.  This helps the body to metabolize the biochemistry that was stimulated and flush it out of your system.

Do any of these practices once a week.  It will increase your freedom, power, choice and peace of mind.

Here’s one final (bonus) tip on freeing yourself from fear:

Sometimes fear comes out of speculating what will or won’t happen.  Enjoy cultivating curiosity. Beware of thinking you “already know all about it”. Maybe there’s a nuance or opportunity you do NOT know about. Tell yourself, “Maybe it’s possible that I don’t yet know what I don’t know,” or “It’s possible that there’s something I am not aware of that WOULD work.” Explore.

And be free.

To overcome fear in your life, or to get help using one of these practices, call 1.877.535.5438 (Mon-Thurs, 12pmET to 4pmET).

Among the other areas of professional, spiritual and personal development, (Maya-G) Gail Taylor coaches individuals, couples, families, parents, leaders and professionals on whole health and increased freedom. Get measurable results! For more information, or for help to get the kind of life experiences that you most deeply want, call to schedule a Free 1-Hour Consultation – 1.877.535.5438 Mon-Thurs 12pmET-4pmET.

 

Apology To Politicians

We want a government that works.

What would it take to turn a bickering, partisan government to a bipartisan, cooperative one?

Try this on for size:

  1. Bipartisan Cooperation – Require legislation behavior that generates win-win solution from agreements around root core values instead of attachment to particular strategies.
  2. Behavioral Accountability – Directly address inconsistencies; discount behavior (and votes) not congruent with immediately prior agreements or sound reason.  Require behavior out of core values instead of out of vendettas and party-line temper-tantrum tactics. Cooperate with win-win solutions that you helped generate based on your stated values, or you will be replaced.  Period.
  3. Restorative Justice – If you break something, you contribute to fixing it.  If you cost Americans billions in money taken by fraudulent means, you are responsible for contributing to repayment.

Then try this on for a laugh:

Apology to politicians:

“We would like to apologize for the way in which politicians are represented in this programme.  It was never our intention to imply that politicians are weak-kneed, political time-servers who are concerned more with their personal vendettas and private power struggles than the problems of government, nor to suggest at any point that they sacrifice their credibility by denying free debate on vital matters in the mistaken impression that party unity comes before the well-being of the people they supposedly represent, nor to imply at any stage that they are squabbling little toadies without an ounce of concern for the vital societal problems of today.  Nor indeed do we intend that viewers should consider them as crabby ulcerous little self-seeking vermin with furry legs and an excessive addiction to alcohol and certain explicit sexual practices which some people might find offensive.  We are sorry if this impression has come across.” — Monty Python

And might I add: infantile-behaving fear-mongering propaganda-repeating brats with an inability to sustain factual representation of reality without villainization, labeling, or behaving like a bunch of drama queens.  I am sorry if this impression has come across.

10 Essentials For Whole Health

If you think about health only in terms of mind, body and spirit, you’re missing vital areas of the whole that is you. Worse, you’re missing opportunities for healthier relationships, communities, and more.

Below you’ll find a brief introduction to 7 aspects of you, and 3 steps that are absolutely vital if you want to experience more health.

Use these 10 Essentials For Whole Health to:

  • Maximize your health, healing and growth by paying attention to the entire system of who you are, not just one or two areas
  • Recognize and attend to contributing factors to get the measurable results that you want
  • Customize (tailor) your practices to your most effective health, healing and growth opportunities.

What are the 10 Keys to Whole Health?

7 Aspects of Whole Health

  1. Mind – The Mental – We all know that our beliefs can make or break us. Thoughts become things; our beliefs affect our actions. Our mental chatter can be destructive, like an inner critic, or productive, like an inner supporter. You may know that it’s important to reach for a healthy mind, but what practices do you use to do that? Here’s one key practice for a wholly healthy mind: focus attention on what you actually observe, rather than just what you think, speculate, believe, or assess.
  2. Gut – The Core Values – We all have stories, beliefs, assessments and judgments. To find the power behind them, look for the core values they are trying to reveal. What are the innocent, benevolent, universal needs behind them? What are the deep yearnings, or the gift you’re trying to give yourself or others? Respond only to those, and you respond from a wholly healthy gut. One key practice for a wholly healthy gut: ask yourself, “If I got this outcome, what would it bring me?” When you get an answer, ask it again. Eventually you’ll get to the core values; prioritize fulfilling those.
  3. Body – The Physical – We often talk about diet and exercise. But are you aware of what it takes to have a wholly healthy body? Strength, flexibility and endurance all depend on each other to give us a fully resilient bod. Are you working on growing in all three areas? Another key practice for a wholly healthy body: consider supplemental medicine like adaptogenic herbs and tinctures, or aryuveda, in addition to your normal daily vitamins and your regular visits to your family doctors.
  4. Heart – The Emotional and The Subtle – Did you know your body is not only physical, but also made up of energy centers? For a wholly healthy body, consider adding energy work like reiki, core energetics or cranial sacral work to your monthly massage schedule. Another key practice for a wholly healthy emotional body: increase your emotion-body aptitude. How easily can you name emotions? How many? Where does each emotion show up as a sensation in your physical body? Practice some form of daily “release work” that helps you quickly to attend to, instead of bypassing, conscious and unconscious emotional charge. More key practices for a wholly healthy emotional body: daily gratitude, appreciation, celebration and play.
  5. Spirit – The Causal – Have you ever had a peak experience where you suddenly experienced absolute, pure equanimity, resourcefulness and peace, utterly unlike you? If not, it’s time to meet your infinitely powerful, infinitely capable transpersonal Self. Key practices for a wholly healthy relationship to your Spiritual body abound. Try a simple walk in nature and see if you can feel your connection to the everything that is bigger than just you. Or try a Big Mind or meditation practice that takes you into the experience of the Higher Self. Build a daily relationship to this part of you, and you build a path to ease, power and Grace beyond your imagination.
  6. Action – The Behavioral – You are not fully you until you can express yourself and what you want in practical, rubber-to-the-road ways. What does it take to have a wholly healthy body of action? Key practices include: setting measurable goals, making iterative steps toward your goals, and making doable requests in the ‘now’ to help you fulfill your core values. If you’re not experiencing what you want in your life, work or relationships, you could probably use some strengthening in your “effective action” body.
  7. Environment – The Interactive – You are not an island; you’re impacted by your friends, family, society and more. For a wholly healthy environment, look at your relationship to your physical and social environments. One key practice for a wholly healthy environment: dialogue. You may be able to voice your thoughts and concerns, but do you also remember to ask about and integrate concerns around you?

3 Steps to Whole Health

  1. Higher Self Work – More Power – Make your Best, highest Self a part of your daily life. When you do, you’ll more easily overcome any issues, problems, or obstacles you face. One key practice for powerful Higher Self work: Appreciative Inquiry. Where have you succeeded before? How could that apply to what you want now? Other key practices for powerful Higher Self work include getting familiar with Ken Wilber’s 3 Faces of God, and practicing alchemical Creation. When you combine vivid imagination, intense emotion, faith, right action, and integration of incoherences, you get miracles. How fast can you turn desire into reality?
  2. Lower Self Work – More Release – Fear, pain, trauma, shadow, judgments and contractions all consume energy. Aspiring for health or growth is like an inhale. If you don’t exhale fear, pain, trauma, shadow, judgments and contractions, eventually your body will break down. Give care to your conscious and unconscious shadow aspects, and you not only free up subtle and emotional resources for what you really want, you also create powerful internal alignment. Three key practices for Lower Self work: SORTting It Out(tm), 3-Column Release Work, or Crane’s Release Technique.
  3. Middle Self Work – More Effective Habits – If you keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’ll keep getting what you’ve been getting. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. You are the creator of your experience. If you’re not getting the experience or outcomes you want, find out what actions you’re doing (or not doing) that contribute to that. One key practice for Middle Self work: ask, “How might I be contributing to this experience?” Another key practice: hire an integrated coach who can see perspectives and recognize practices you may not be aware of.

When you use these 10 Essentials for Whole Health, you have a system of “what” and “how” to turn any opportunity into a fully thriving reality.

For more information about how to use the 10 Essentials for Whole Health on yourself, your relationships, your community or your organization, call for a FREE 1-hour Consultation – 1.877.535.5438 (Mon-Thurs, 12pmET to 4pmET).

Among the other areas of professional, spiritual and personal development, (Maya-G) Gail Taylor coaches individuals, couples, families, parents, leaders and professionals on whole health. Get measurable results! For more information, or for help to get outcomes you want, call to schedule a Free 1-Hour Consultation – 1.877.535.5438 Mon-Thurs 12pmET-4pmET.

5 Ways To Replace Conflict with Cooperation

Do you think you know what it takes to reduce conflict, or to replace conflict with cooperation?

While you may think you know what you know, if you recently felt frustrated about someone’s behavior, left a community group or ended a romantic relationship, argued with a family member or colleague, or thought someone was “being a pain in the a**”, then your experience shows that you may NOT have mastery here.

You may not know what you DON’T know, or have not yet embodied, in effective, competent, powerful habits of conflict resolution. Even the partisan split in our country is a testament that, in our country, we are not embodying these skills.

Transforming conflict to cooperation takes more than I-statements and a willingness to boldly confront each other. It only takes one round of, “I think you’re being a jerk,” or “I think you’re just trying to control everything,” to turn I-statements and “respectful confrontation” into a resentful divide.

How do we address issues in ways that result in sincere cooperation instead of conflict?

Most of us are trained that, when we are frustrated, scared or experiencing pain, we should look to see what is causing our dis-ease and do whatever it takes to stop the offending party from perpetrating the offense again. We’re trained to diagnose the perpetrator. Why is he or she the villain they are?

Finding the source of a problem is useful to help fix it.

However, when we finger-point, blame, label and diagnose why people do what they do, the result is conflict and divisiveness. People get defensive, or return the finger-pointing. Frustration, resentment and distrust escalate.

Or worse, instead of being WITH each other and coming to win-win outcomes, we often choose “the law of two feet” and just go somewhere else.

How can we have both WIT-ness and WITH-ness? How can we both objectively see issues with equanimity and also find win-win resolutions that support us staying WITH each other?

Here are 5 ways you can replace frustration, drama, conflict, opposition and divisiveness to easy, drama-free, win-win solutions:

1. Discuss facts, not conclusions. Conclusions, diagnoses, assessments and labels provoke debate. “He’s just controlling,” “No he’s not.” To help get the experience you want, focus only on the facts, “He didn’t do what he said he’d do.” Here is another example: “You’re being uncooperative,” “No I’m not!” Instead, name just the facts, “I noticed you arrived at 8:10am instead of 8am.” Here’s another example: “She’s being vindictive,” Maybe, maybe not. Try instead, “She voted ‘no’ after saying she would vote ‘yes’.” What actually happened? What did you physically see or hear? Stay with that, and then go on to numbers 2 and 3.

2. Focus on what you most deeply value; don’t talk about the other person or what they should be or do. Instead of, “Stop arguing with me,” try, “I want more cooperation between us than this.” Instead of, “He’s testing me,” try, “What I really want is more support around the house.” Instead of, “You should stop complaining and get a job,” try, “I want confidence you will get what you need.” What is the benevolent core value underneath your thinking? What does your heart most yearn for, for yourself? Name it.

3. Make an action-request, right now, that would feed what you most deeply want, right now. Instead of, “Stop arguing with me,” ask for something that CAN be done right now. “I really want confidence I’m heard, could you please take two breaths after I speak?” or “I want to trust my point is received, could you tell me what you value about what I said before you respond to it?” Instead of, “He’s trying to test me,” try, “I really ache for more support around the house, could you help me fold clothes for 10 minutes right now?” Instead of, “You complain all the time,” try, “Could you tell me what you would prefer instead?”

4. Understand and reflect core values before responding or trying to fix anything. If cooperation isn’t happening, odds are the other person is not getting the felt-sense that you’re on the same page with them. Can you name 3 of the other person’s innocent, benevolent core values? Can you actually feel the benevolence and innocence behind their behavior? If not, go back and reflect the other person’s heart until you really feel it. “If you got your way, is it that you hope it would protect your family?” “Is it that you’re worried and want your own space?” “Are you upset because you want care for your concerns?” What beautiful core value is most deeply motivating them right now?

5. Reach to get your core values reflected and felt before trying to fix anything. Can the other person accurately name 3 of the core values behind what you said? Do you have the felt-sense that they experience the benevolent innocence of your values right now? If not, go back and ask them to reflect your heart until you feel them open to your concerns. “Before we try to solve this, I want hope that we’re on the same page. Could you please tell me what I want that you think is worthwhile?” Or, “I want confidence that you’re holding my concerns equally. Could you tell me 3 things you hear I care most about?” Remember to stick with core values, not the strategies to fulfill those values!

When we’re in debate, conflict, argument or opposition to each other, we inadvertently reach to protect ourselves and fortify our position. In our emotional charge, we drift into our thoughts, beliefs, and assessments of other, trying to find the right path to fix the problem. The problem is, these habits aren’t very effective.

Instead, when we simplify conversation to just the facts, core values, do-able requests, and a mutual felt-sense of the true value in each other’s benevolent concerns we increase the likelihood of connection, compassionate cooperation and win-win resolutions. When we walk together toward a mutual point of joy, I call this, “Procession”. Walking together is as much about heart and heart-connection as it is about intelligent insight and awareness.

Who are you in conflict with, quietly or not-so-quietly? What core value would you like to experience more of? What can be done in 10 minutes that would feed that core value?

Where can your embodiment of these skills bring greater cooperation and less conflict?

For more information, or for help to resolve a situation you’re facing, call to schedule a Free 1-Hour Consultation – 1.877.535.5438 Mon-Thurs 12pm-4pm.

Among the other areas of professional, spiritual and personal development, (Maya-G) Gail Taylor coaches individuals, couples, families, parents, leaders and professionals on generative thinking and win-win communication skills. Get measurable results! For more information, or for help to resolve a situation you’re facing, call to schedule a Free 1-Hour Consultation – 1.877.535.5438 Mon-Thurs 12pm-4pm.

Economic Crash? 9 Ways to Thrive Despite it

If you find all this talk about recession, increasing unemployment and the crashed housing market depressing, I hope you’ll enjoy this article.

In it, you’ll find 9 ways to thrive despite our current economic situation. If you like it, pass it on.

With loving blessings,
Maya-G (Gail Taylor)

9 Ways to (Get By? No. Survive? No!)
Thrive in the Current Economic Climate

When it rains, it pours, and today’s economic issues can feel like a downpour of depressing news. Talk of lay-offs, government overspending, and the increasing costs of living can feel dishearteningly heavy at best.

But you can find shelter in the storm. Use these 9 tips to make the best use of your internal and external resources, and thrive despite the current economic climate.

When you tap the power of your higher, middle, and lower self, as well as the power of the environment around you, you can experience fewer headaches, less stress, and get more done with less effort.

Lower Self – Shadow work: fear, worry and judgment

Worry, fear and judgment drain energy and take you out of your most resourceful state. To stay rooted in your power:

1. Do release work to mourn the gap between what is and what you envision possible.
2. Notice any moments you feel reservation, worry or fear and look for the core value trying to be heard in it.
3. Investigate your judgments about yourself and others. Judgments are parts of you trying to reveal your core values that still need to be integrated.

Middle Self – Generating Positive Outcomes

Thinking positive isn’t enough, you also need to take right action. How do you find the smallest effort that will generate the most positive outcomes?

1. Listen for the “do wants” in the “don’t wants”. Make a list of what you don’t like and don’t want. What does it reveal that you do want?
2. Make your desires measurable. How much? By when? For example, “By the end of this week I want a routine hour a day to relax” is better than, “I want more time to myself”.
3. Find practical win-win steps to feed your needs. If you can’t think of any, ask 3 friends what they would do in your shoes. “I want more time to myself. What would you do?”

Higher Self – Beyond The Personal

We think we’re separate, when really we’re part of an infinite network of infinite resources. Don’t believe it? Think about the “6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon” game. You’re also part of an ocean of atoms that are all entwined and interconnected. How can that infinite network support you?

1. Connect to Nature (or anything larger than yourself). Take a walk in the woods, meditate, pray or lay on the ground and feel how gravity pulls you into the Earth in this massive expansive universe. Whatever it takes, remind yourself that you’re part of an infinitely large system of interacting parts. Feel it, and feel the power that is available for you to tap into. Find one thing you can appreciate and feel grateful for right now.
2. Do Alchemy. When you combine a clear focused desire with the emotional experience of already having been there, and then take right action, you set highly powerful conscious, unconscious, and transpersonal forces in motion. What would it take for your desire to get a more clear, laser-like focus? What would it take for you to feel as if you’re already there?
3. Remember who you Are. You are more than your thoughts, beliefs and actions. Who are you, most deeply? When you remember who you most deeply Are, you find your personal connection to the infinite, and you’ll discover the ability to create any experience you want.

Now it’s time to customize these 9 tips to your specific life and your unique situation. Take charge; get help if you need to. Maybe even try a life coach! A quality life coach can offer step-by-step assistance and can even guarantee you results. You’ll know if you’re with the right practitioner if you experience movement in 90 minutes or less.

The tips above come from my Integrated Coaching model, and this month I’m offering a limited-time coaching sale. If you want more info about it, call me and let’s schedule a free hour-long consultation for you. I can be reached at 1.877.535.5438.

When it rains, you can get frustrated and depressed or you can find a way to play in the rain. Don’t let the economic climate get you down. Take 20 minutes to try these tips today.

Freedom from Fear

Fear:
The bodymind bracing against some possible future pain.
The thoughts and emotion we experience when the ego/bodymind is trying to protect us from pain.

Worry / seeking reassurance / seeking understanding:
Forms of fear; the bodymind’s attempt to console fear; bracing against the pain of loss of some universal need (security, companionship, deep connection, etc)

Freedom from fear comes
not from reassurance, not from understanding, and not from solution. Freedom from fear doesn’t come from ascending into peak states of meditation.

These things only hide the fear.

Remove the reassurance, understanding, the solution, or the peak state and the fear returns.

Freedom from fear only comes when we confront it or embrace it. when we open to the thing we’re bracing against, when we embrace it, fear evaporates.

Confronting fear / opening to it means to
lean into the emotion of the fear – feel it – and then
a.) connect with the universal need/yearning at the root of it and
b.) release the “ick” of it (grieve the pain of the yearning) until
c.) realization of Infinite Self emerges and the fear naturally evaporates.

Embracing fear means to do this cycle:
a.) invite the thoughts of the ‘worst case scenario’
b.) ask, “ok, so? and then what?”
c.) repeat until realization of Infinite Freedom emerges and the fear naturally evaporates.

Confront fear or embrace it, and what you’re left with is the Face of Spirit – conscious connection to the universal need, free of the emotional charge.

From this place your state is resourceful, grounded, able to take effective action, and able to make powerful requests for Emergence.

Anything else is consoling fear, capitulating to fear, and acting out of being hijacked by fear. All of these are forms of personal slavery to fear.

For many of us the ultimate fear is fear of death, ultimate loss.

While we brace against loss or pain, we are slaves to our fear.

Confront fear. Release the bodymind tension.

Do It!

  1. Name one fear you have.
  2. Choose explicitly – do you wish to be a slave to your fear, or free of it?
  3. Choose which method you’re going to use to free yourself from your fear: to confront it, or to embrace it.
  4. Use the appropriate practice above. Get help; it’s hard to both go deep in doing the work AND also holding the process container. Get someone else to hold the process.

For more information, or to receive support to evaporate fear, call Toll-Free 1.877.535.5438 .

For more practical strategies on conscious living, and to receive a free Ebook, click here.


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